One of the most useful skills is the ability to “clear.” I use this skill daily to weed out the things in my life that don’t serve me. These things are not necessarily external. Quite often they’re internal. By consistently eliminating what holds me back from being my full self, I’m increasingly able to live from my core.
What Takes You Away from Being You?
When it comes to your deeper truth – there are two things that you need. You need to have a sense of who you and the opportunity to express your full self. It’s worth asking, though, if there are situations in which self-expression might bring you harm? And if so, what can you do when we find yourself such a situation?
Here are a few common situations that tend to inhibit your free, full expression of your deepest truth.
Some people bring you down. Other people push or drag you down. The latter is the most toxic. It’s important to clear your life of anyone or anything that is a constant downer unless you feel unhampered by their behavior. Just as a steady diet of straight sugar would leave you feeling horrible, if you digest ongoing negativity you’ll feel pretty awful inside.
Holding a grudge is easy to do. Yet, it’s so harmful for our overall health! When you don’t allow ourselves to forgive others, you do ourselves harm. You might not notice it at first, but the anger that encases your grudge takes you apart bit by bit.
Do you need to apologize to someone or confront them about an unresolved issue? Do you have a lingering doubt? Loose ends are energy leaks. They make it harder to stay on track with things that help us fully express who we are.
Negating and Discrediting:
Do you put yourself into situations where you are not seen or even outright discredited? Are you made fun of or put down because of who you are? Just like racist jokes are not funny, neither are comments that undermine who you.
It’s important to recognize these situations when they happen in your life. Once you’ve spotted these drains on your full expression, you’ve got a lot of options.
“Clearing” is one of the most important skills I teach in my LifeWork Programs. We all need to learn how to remove physical and emotional toxins from our bodies and environments so that we can remain healthy.
In fact, the ability to “clear” is a step along the way towards your personal development. As you move through your growth process, there will be times when you face challenges rooted in present circumstances or from the past. You will make the best choices for yourself if you remember to return to your core self. You’ll also show yourself real self-care if you take a mental and emotional shower after a hard day of personal challenges.
Here’s what that looks like in action!
When you have negativity in your life that blocks you from being able to express your deeper nature, one clear step towards getting clear is taking space from your everyday life. This is one part of a larger operation. Because it’s also important that you learn to disconnect mentally, emotionally, and energetically. Even if someone is no longer in your life, they can continue to have a negative impact. Maybe you replay the emotions or thoughts associated with the negative circumstance. Maybe there is just a feeling of negativity related to the person.
There are so many clearing techniques to help you disconnect. One of the exercises I recommend in my LifeWork Program is gratitude. Stop three times a day and notice five things for which you’re grateful. Notice how your feel before and after you reflect your gratitude back towards yourself.
Holding onto the memory of hurt only hurts you. A grudge won’t ensure you make a different choice in the future. A grudge won’t protect you from future hurt. In truth, the energy that it takes to hold a grudge could be put to better purposes.
If you’re holding a grudge, see if you can find compassion for this other person. A great forgiveness exercise is Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Look it up online. The practice of the prayer essentially goes like this.
Please forgive me
I love you
Repeat each one of these statements while thinking of the other person.
Tie up your loose ends!
Create a list of everything unresolved or unfinished in your life – the big and the small. Make a point to clear up one thing at a time until you’ve checked all the boxes on your list.
Sometimes the best thing you can do to get clear is to not pick up the problem in the first place. If you’re being discredited or put down, recognize that this is someone else’s perspective. It’s not yours. You can learn from this other perspective without accepting it. Instead, return to what is true for you to keep yourself free and clear of things that hold you back from being your full self.
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