Archive For March 27, 2017

4 Signs It’s Time for a Life Change

4 Signs It’s Time for a Life Change

When we get hit with a challenging life event, it pushes us, boldly and forcefully, to change. But what about the rest of the time, when nothing is horribly or chaotically wrong? Without the big signposts of high-impact life events, how do you know when its time to change your life, and how do you start to actually take action? It might be a change in a daily activity or it might be a change in a big part of our life. Here are some clues that you are ready for a life change.

  • Unfocused: Do you find yourself unable to complete an essential task, or spacing out while reading a book? Perhaps you need to pay attention to what you are not doing. What I mean is that sometimes we have difficulty focusing on an activity at hand because we are not attending to other parts of our lives. Have you had fun or spent time alone recently? If you’re having trouble focusing on daily activities, doing something you have not been fitting into your life might balance you out and increase your focus.

  • Sleepy: Ok, so, sleepy is really just bored most of the time, but sometimes it is a sign of too much heaviness – you’re still carrying around things that no longer serve you. It is time to freshen things up! What is the new way that you can engage with whatever is boring you to tears? It could be an aspect of your work, it could be a new program that you started.. Find out if there is a fresh way of connecting to what you are doing, or just let it go. Drop the heavy!

  • Grumpy: Are you feeling frustrated when you come to work, does the idea of picking up the phone and talking to that “friend” make you grumble like an old mountain man with a hound dog and a shotgun? When things are healthy they are also happy. The key is to figure out whether you need to let go completely or make smaller changes inside yourself so that you feel more in alignment with what you are doing.

  • Overwhelmed: Are your cupboards a mess, do you have too much to do, or are you over stimulated by your life? Being overwhelmed is the experience of “too much,” or even chaos. You can even have too much of really good stuff because, in the end, too much is too much! So what can you weed out of your life so that you feel less overwhelmed and more at peace on a daily basis?

I help women take action when its time for a life change, so that they can start living the life they have always dreamed of. Click here to learn more about how to find happiness for yourself, with Dr. Kate’s help.

5 Happiness Practices to Brighten Every Day

5 Happiness Practices to Brighten Every Day

Happiness can be a surprisingly fickle thing. Sometimes, a new routine or a new perspective can revitalize your life and sense of well-being. Other times, change presents a challenge to our happiness. Learning how to make your joy and energy resilient to the drain that life’s changes sometimes leave us feeling is a key to safeguarding your happiness.

All too often, we forget that happiness is a skill, and that being skillful takes practice. Here are 5 small things you can do every day to practice your happiness skill-set and safeguard your joy.

  • Happiness Practice #1: Start Positive

    The first few moments of your day can set the tone for the rest of it. So, start each morning with a quiet moment, an affirmation, a journal entry, or any other activity that helps you tune into your feelings and intentions for your day.

  • Happiness Practice #2: Look For It

    Your focus channels your power. Unfortunately, we often focus on what makes us unhappy rather than what brings us joy. Make an effort to recognize what’s going well in your day and be present to the things you enjoy.

  • Happiness Practice #3: Get Clear On What Makes You Happy

    This may seem like a no-brainer but it’s actually something we often overlook. What brings you the most pleasure and happiness? Time alone or time with others? A home-cooked meal or take-out and a movie? Becoming conscious of the things you most enjoy means that you will choose them more often.

  • Happiness Practice #4: Say “Thank You”

    To yourself, your partner, your child or co-worker. Make a point to express your gratitude for what’s working in your life. Showing your appreciation will immediately make you and the person you’re thanking feel more positive. And, by expressing gratitude for the things the people around you do, you reinforce the positive behavior as well as the positive feeling.

  • Happiness Practice #5: Slow Down

    Slow down and savor the good parts of your life. Pay attention when you’re eating something delicious. Choose to really listen to your friend while they’re talking. Take the time to notice what’s around you on your daily walk or drive. The more you can use your five senses to be present to what you’re experiencing, the better.

Life is always a mix of things. No matter how bad a day seems, there’s always something in it that’s positive. Use the list above to help you focus in on the good that’s present in life’s simple, daily events. These simple things can add up quickly and drastically increase your happiness.

7 Myths about Happiness and the Truth that will Set You Free

7 Myths about Happiness and the Truth that will Set You Free

Establishing a true practice of happiness is an elusive but powerful skill. In its own right, it is a hard goal to achieve. Harder still, however, is chasing the commodified and distorted versions of happiness that we have been taught to seek and think we can achieve.

Happiness has become a myth that has been both downplayed and exalted, made to seem both commonplace and unattainable. Busting the myths of happiness can be an important step toward truly being happy. See which ones might have caught you in their snare and be happier now.

7 Happiness Myths:

You know how to be happy:

I have to start the list with this because it is such a common myth that gets in the way of people being happy. We think that we are supposed to know how to be happy, but I find that most people do not have the skills they need to make themselves truly happy. The good news is that you can learn how to truly be happy and, with a little work, you can get yourself feeling great.

The goal is to be happy all the time:

You can’t be anything all the time and if you were you would likely lose the capacity to recognize it. But you can benefit from moving in the direction of being happier as often as possible. In fact, find time each day to do one thing that makes you happy and you will be feeling the difference in no time.

Happiness is linked to external events:

It does not matter how much money you have or where you are from. True happiness is not about circumstances or possessions, it is our relationship with ourself.

Other people can make you happy:

While being around toxic people will affect your happiness, there is no one who can really make you happy but you. It is important to pay attention to who you feel happy around and who you don’t, but recognize that learning how to make yourself happier can only come from you.

You can be anywhere and be happy:

This one sounds like, “If I just do enough work on myself I will be happy with my crappy job and my unfulfilling relationships.” This has to be on the list because, while happiness is an inside job, losing sight of the impact that outside circumstances have on our happiness is equally problematic. Unload the toxic parts of your life and open up to more happiness.

You need to be somewhere (else) to be happy:

If you are one of those people who keeps looking around the corner or over the horizon for your happiness, I have to tell you, you are not going to find it there. When we chase happiness we don’t find it. We find whatever else we put in its place. The keys to happiness lie within us, not in the next city we plan to move to.

Happiness is available to you regardless of how you act or what you do:

This sounds like, “Happiness is my birthright and I should have it even if I make little effort at my own personal development.” Happiness entitlement gets in our way. It also denies the reality that some of us battle biological predispositions that make attaining happiness even harder. Approach happiness with gratitude, and you invite more of it.