One key to being more empowered in our life is self-acceptance—truly embracing all of ourselves, both the good and the not-so-good. When we embrace all of who we are, when we’re willing to move into a place of true acceptance, it eliminates a lot of confusion. It limits the other challenges that arise when we’re trying to be something else by adjusting ourselves to the external in an unproductive way. But accepting ourselves, as you likely know, is, is no small feat. It would be great if it were as easy as saying, “I accept myself completely.”
And in a way, there’s an aspect of self-acceptance that is just that simple. We make a choice at some point in time to fully accept who we are. However, the path to that moment can be quite long. On this path, we learn about the many different ways in which we’ve been conditioned to think that we need to act, behave, and feel differently than is really right for us. This kind of conditioning usually starts quite early in our lives. And, depending on what we have experienced, some of us have received excessive doses of it. For example, minority cultures experience this type of conditioning to an extreme.
However, all of us to some extent have received a message that who we are would be better if it were adjusted in some way. We experience this rather than the more supportive experience of being affirmed, and we need to expunge it. We instead need to find ways to appreciate who we are and what it is that we are bringing forward—naturally and intrinsically.
There is a lot to do to learn how to fully accept ourselves. For today, I will offer one simple tool to help you on this path to self-acceptance—look at the other side of the parts of yourself that you are being told should be adjusted. If you have a flaw or something that you think has been problematic for you in your life, examine how it is also a benefit to you. You can see the strength that’s on the other side. All strengths have weaknesses, all weaknesses have strengths. So when you do you take a look at some aspect of yourself that you thought was your biggest problem and you start to see how it actually might serve you in other aspects of your life, you will begin to see that context plays a large role in whether or not this part of you is in fact a challenge or a gift.
If it is challenging to see how it might be of benefit, imagine situations where it might serve you. In other words, employ some creative thinking—explore how and when this aspect of yourself might be a powerful ally. Then you can start to consciously use these aspects more and more productively in different areas of your life.
As you do this, you will find that it is naturally healing. It breaks through the belief that these things about us are wrong and need to be fixed. It shows us that no matter what they are, even our most challenging traits have some productive uses. This helps us accept ourselves in a deeper way. This self-acceptance then helps us grow our sense of empowerment.
For more about trusting yourself and your empowerment take a look at my article >>> “An Unstoppable Source for Your Personal Power.”
Compassion, freedom, love, integrity, vulnerability, and happiness are built on the bedrock of our trust in ourselves. When we can look in the eyes of the person standing in front of the mirror and know that we are showing up to the truth of who we are, we have everything.
Life’s betrayals do not just erode our trust of others, but they also leave us doubting ourselves. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we often blame ourselves for choosing the person who betrayed our trust in the first place. We might wonder what will stop us from making this kind of error again. This lack of trust with ourselves leaves us guarded.
This guarding actually perpetuates a cycle of disconnection; this disconnection opens the door to lower-frequency energies that impair our ability to operate at every level—furthering the challenges we might be having in these areas.
What makes it difficult to trust ourselves is less often about these challenging experiences themselves and more often about how we have been conditioned to relate to ourselves.
I was taught time and time again in the course of my life not to listen to myself. In many ways, I was taught that trusting myself was a form of arrogance—a blindness to seeing things as other people saw them. I was taught to think like other people and to interact on other people’s terms.
These things were taught to me under the guise of “getting along,” “loving others,” or even just passing the test.
The main message, through these experiences, was that my unique way of seeing and being was somehow wrong. I was taught that the clear messages from my soul needed to be adjusted to fit with the outside world rather than being a direct expression of it. I was taught that if I was in a situation where my needs and another person’s needs were at odds, then one of us was right and the other one was not—meaning there was always a high probability that I was in fact the one who was wrong.
Self-doubt then became the way—the backdrop of all of my experiences.
As a result, I was time and time again open to being hurt by others—in the ways that can only happen when we abandon ourselves. Because of this, my lack of trust with myself kept growing and I tried all kinds of ways to remedy this—most of them having to do with bolstering my ego.
I believe this is a common experience.
Since we all experience breaches in trust in our life, we all need to do repair work on our trust. We might first think that we need to figure out how and when to trust others, but we actually gain quite a bit more by learning how to deeply trust ourselves.
This is easier said than done. Quite often, as I just highlighted with my own experience, we have learned how not to trust ourselves both very early and in fundamental ways. Our lack of trust in ourselves is often insidious and difficult for us to see. It might show up as an ongoing feeling of anxiety for no apparent reason. It might leave us unable to see opportunities. Or, we might just be unable to accept the help we need.
We benefit from relearning that the way that we are is, by its design, perfect. This does not mean that we don’t need to grow and change or that we are not aided by questioning our own intentions. However, we are actually better able to do these things as we learn to trust ourselves more deeply, as a deep trust and respect for who we are actually makes it possible to see our limitations and to make changes that help us be better people.
If we can remember that we are made in a way that has its own inherent wisdom, and that this wisdom is very much needed by both ourselves and the greater world, then we can open up to new levels of trusting our self.
While we may at times make mistakes or errors in judgment, we can return to a trust in the fundamental goodness and perfection of our nature. And then, kindly guide ourselves in the direction of making better and better decisions as we move forward through new knowledge, new skills, and improved discernment.
As we come to deeply know our own truth, we can rely on it more fully. This allows us to make choices and put ourselves in situations that are truly right for us. It allows us to navigate the many complex situations that we find ourselves in in the course of our life.
Trusting ourselves is also a skill that we develop. As we work to be more honest, more caring, more respectful, we become a person whom we can truly trust. As we practice these skills, they become stronger and our lives become a reflection of our character. We feel this growth, and as a result, trust ourselves more.
My wish for all of us is that we know the fundamental goodness of who we are. That we realize the perfection of how we are made. And, through this, we develop the foundations for trusting ourselves in ways that restore our health, wholeness, and connection with others.
For more about trusting yourself take a look at my article >>> “An Unstoppable Source for Your Personal Power.”
One of the inquiries that most frequently comes up when I am talking to others is how to feel more powerful: in relationships, our work, and any other aspect of life.
We are often challenged by only seeing examples of how to be powerful that we may be less than encouraged by. These supposedly empowered people might appear in some ways that don’t feel right and authentic to us. The confusion can be helped with a little semantics—the difference between someone who is powerful and someone who is empowered. Empowerment comes from deep within whereas power develops as a result of relationship dynamics. Power can come from an empowered or a disempowered place.
To learn to be more empowered, we can ask ourselves how we can come from a deeper place of power inside of ourselves—that is what I would like to examine here.
When we explore our personal power, we might be challenged by the examples of power I eluded to earlier. These examples of overuse or misuse of power are the result of identification with the false (or egoic) self. This false self leads us to believe that we are in power when others are not. It leads us to believe that maintaining this relationship is what it means to be in our full selves. This dynamic shows up in ways that are both subtle and obtuse.
The ego needs to continually be fed or pumped up. It needs proof that it is in fact secure. It will approach situations so that it can receive this bolstering—but underneath, there is a constant nagging sense that the security of the position can be lost at any moment. When we are coming from this place of ego, we may have experiences that help us feel powerful for a bit; for example, we might get praise or be put in a position of power.
We can at times confuse these experiences with having arrived at a place of empowerment. However, when we do not get these bolstering experiences or when something goes wrong, we can easily see how unstable our position is. What you might notice is a lack of consistency; that we’re sort of up and down and that we might need more and more, and then more again in order to maintain this sense of security or power or whatever it is.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the ego. It’s not a matter of getting rid of it. It is a very important part of who we are. But we do want to see it for its role in our lives rather than sourcing our power from this place. An alternative is to source our power from a much deeper place—the core of who we are. There are many different terms for this; regardless of what we call it, this deeper place inside of us creates a more sustainable source of power. The first step is to begin to discern between the two.
Another way to come from a stronger place inside of ourselves is to use the tool of connecting with resources. Simply put, resources are energies in our consciousness that provide us with real depth of connection, energy, feelings of security, etc. A resource can be a spirit, a concept, a totem, or anything else that holds significant energetic power for us.
There are many different ways to approach the concept of resources. Here, I am going to write about it in the most general way. As an example, lets look at something like compassion. You can connect to this feeling—this energy, this way of being—in any way that’s right for you and then find ways to bring this through your own being and out into your life.
As we do this, we actually become stronger. One way to do this is simply by being more intentional. In other words, by stating that “I would like to be more…” (in this case, “compassionate”). When you do this, you are drawing on supportive and infinite energies to help strengthen you in any given moment. You can also ask for help. For example, “Please help me be more compassionate in this situation.” Whether or not you know who you are asking, you are going to benefit. You can also call on these resources through a practice. A practice helps you understand the resource you are working with more deeply and also how to more effectively work with it. In our example, you would increase your compassion through a practice by saying, “okay, in these certain circumstances or in a situation like this, I’m going to look at how I can be more compassionate.” Or, you can look for examples of compassion and draw from those.
As we begin to work with resources, we connect with the core aspects of who we are and develop a deeper understanding of them while also fortifying and learning how to act from them. This both confirms our power and helps us draw from a deeper, more sustainable place. This strengthening process in and of itself helps us detach from our identification with the egoic level and provides ways for us to be powerful that are also aligned with the kind of person we want to be.
Our work with resources and how we source our power are deep topics that require a bit of time to understand. If you have not already, take a moment to sign up for my mailing list so that you can continue to receive information that will help you to step fully into your power and let your light shine.
For more about self empowerment take a look at my article >>> “On Trusting Ourselves.”
Coaching helps you make money and it can help you make your work more financially viable. It’s the truth, and it’s a very real – and valid – reason many people learn to coach. Coaching has helped CEOs, housewives, and everyone in between, transform their lives. It’s why there are so many coaches out there – as I’m sure you’ve heard, or seen. “With so many of them,” you might wonder, “how are any of them successful?” Or, “How can I be successful if the coaching market is already saturated?”
I can assure you that, while you may not be the next Tony Robbins, you can use coaching to start making more money right away. How far you choose to go is, of course, up to you. Are you willing to invest the time now to make the rest of your life easier? Are you ready to invest the money in your own training to make your work more financially viable?
Coaching is a powerful tool to support any modality of work you do with people – be it holistic or more traditional. It supports people in their growth, is widely respected, and can help elevate your business. Participants of my Coaching Training Program are consistently surprised at how many applications coaching has in their lives and how soon they start bringing in additional income because of it.
This is because coaching provides the following:
The Brand-Recognition Effect — If you’re working in a healing modality that is less mainstream, tying your work to a modality that is well-recognized by the greater public is a great way to get your foot in the door with new clients. They may not understand the benefit or process of energywork, or other healing modalities, but they likely have a friend or someone close to them who has benefited from hiring a coach.
Sometimes Quantity Does Mean Quality — If you are devoted to helping people transform, the more tools you have to support this transformation, the more likely you will be able to offer clients what they need. Learning differently modalities enriches whatever product you have to offer. Coaching helps people understand and reach their potential and is especially helpful when the results of what you are doing with clients might otherwise be felt, but may not completely understood.
Understanding the Healing / Transformation Format — Many times we train in modalities that help us achieve positive results with clients, but we do not understand the steps that truly get them there. Learning coaching helps you know how to guide people step-by-step in their transformation, even if you never call what you are doing “coaching” or call yourself a “coach.” The basic principles can be applied to whatever process you are guiding your clients through.
If you want to understand how coaching might help you be more effective with your clients, we invite you to an initial conversation with Dr. Kate Siner. Sign up for your session here by completing a short questionnaire first, then you’ll be brought to her booking calendar.
Or, you can first read more about her Integrative Transformational Coaching program.
Whether you are already trained to work with people, or you are curious if coaching might be a good addition to your day job, learning how to coach people can be the key to your financial prosperity. Adding coaching to whatever you do is an easy way to increase your monthly income.
HOW CAN COACHING HELP YOU INCREASE YOUR MONTHLY INCOME
Even if you have no intention of ever calling yourself a Coach, learning to coach will help you gain fundamental interpersonal skills so that you can be better at whatever we are doing –parenting, sales, managing coworkers, or facilitating healing or transformational work. Developed from foundational helping skills from the field of psychology, Coaching teaches us how to best facilitate our interactions with others when we are trying to assist them.
Coaching skills will help you be more successful in almost any situation – in life or at work. If it seems like everyone you know is becoming a coach, it is because they are tuned into the opportunities that integrating coaching into their lives can open for them and they are pursuing them.
When I first started my career as a personal development coach, I added coaching to my healing and helping practice and it set me on the path to the success I have today. Learning how to coach opens the door for more success and better results. Increase your monthly income, strengthen your conflict-management skills, and boost your marketability by becoming a Coach.
YOU HAVE THE ABILITY, YOU JUST NEED THE TRAINING
The best thing about learning to coach is, you already have ½ the toolkit! Being a coach is founded in human experience and the ability to listen. Coaching training helps us realize how our human experience can best be used to help guide others. It teaches us how to listen more effectively so that we can better understand how to be of assistance.
You need that other ½ of the toolkit to really be effective. You need to learn the do’s and don’ts of the foundational strategies of coaching so that you can easily move past your own limitations to understand your client’s process. The second ½ of the coaching toolkit is about training your natural ability so that you can get the best results possible.
Life coach training teaches you how to build structure into your work with others and how to convert this structure into financial success. If you are already working with others in a helping/healing capacity, coaching helps you make this work more accessible and effective. First, because it helps you qualify the results that you can get for your clients and second because when it is joined with business acumen, it allows you to see how to leverage your work more effectively.
The Integrative Transformation Coaching training is designed to teach you how to bring coaching work to what is most important to you – whether this is the growth of your practice or being more effective in a specific area of your life. Click here to learn more about how Integrative Transformational Coaching can help you be successful so that you can increase your monthly income.
Ever wonder if learning to coach might be right for you? A lot of people have. However, they often are unclear on how to assess whether or not they might be a good coach or whether coaching is right for them. This list will help you tell if this might be a good path for you.
1. You are trained in one (or more) therapeutic or healing modalities. Coaching can be an ideal way for you to leverage your work because it adds value for your clients through helping them integrate what they are receiving through working with you.
2. You have an avid interest in personal development (for yourself and others). Coaching is a great way to guide others on their personal development path. Coaching requires that you, as the coach, continue to grow and develop so that you can be even better at helping others grow and develop. It provides the tools you need to help both you and others on this path.
3. You are interested in training as a coach. Interest alone is a good reason to learn how to coach. Whether or not you choose to use this work professionally or not coaching is a tool that can be used in many aspects of your life to get better results and work more effectively with others.
4. You feel held back from reaching your greatest potential as a healer, helper, or practitioner. If you are on a path to become a healer, coaching is a must have skill that helps you help others. Not only will the process of learning coaching help grow your work but also will help you grow personally.
5. You work with other people and are sometimes challenged with the issues they present. Working with others can be full of challenges. Each person comes with their own strengths, weaknesses and quirks. Working effectively with others is a skill and training can aid you in being as effective as possible.
6. You want to increase your income. Whether you are quitting your day job or just looking for some additional income, even coaching a few clients provides you with additional money that you can use to do all the things you aspire to do more easily.
If you see yourself in some of the above, it could be helpful for you to pursue coaching. Your first step is to set up a time to talk with me so that we can dive deeper into your personal needs and see if this is in fact the best option for you at this time. Sign up for your session here by completing a short questionnaire first, then you’ll be brought to my booking calendar.
Or, you can first read more about my Integrative Transformational Coaching program.