It can seem like we need to either be powerful and confident or we need to be humble, but this is not really the case. We can be both. Unfortunately, most people do not pull it off.

When power and humility are in conflict within ourselves, that means we are in our ego self. Our ego self requires us to equate power with worthiness — those who are exhibiting strength are better than those who are exhibiting humility. When power and humility are in balance, though, our power is truth and love; our humility is wisdom and compassion.

So, how do we get humility and power to work together? We need to connect to our core self instead of our ego self.

When we are in the ego part of the self, it is almost like living one track of a multiple-track recording. In the ego, we think we need to be a certain way in order to be loved, accepted, and safe. We can get kind of caught up in this and even start to think that this is all there is of us. It is normal to be caught up in this in adolescence and early adulthood, but we often get caught in this part of ourselves for longer. When we realize that the ego is just a part of us — and not our entire self — our view of the world and ourselves changes profoundly.

One of the most important things to do when working with the ego is to confront it — question its self-definition as our truth. Some of the things we can ask ourselves about our ego in order to help confront it are:

  • What am I trying to protect?
  • What is it I feel I need to convince people of?
  • What is it I most want people to see and believe about me?

    After a while of observing this ego, we get more in contact with our core self — our higher self, the truest part of who we are. When we live from this part of our self, balancing humility and power is a non-issue. They are both present.

    By Dr. Kate Siner