So many people don’t see the patterns that keep them stuck in their love life even when they are right in front of them. To discover what is truly in the way of your ideal partner coming into your life, you can look at other areas and how you relate to yourself and others that give a huge clue.
One place to start is with your relationship with yourself and others when doing personal development. Every workshop, teacher, coach or class you interact with is a reflection of you and how you do relationships. When I coach with someone personally, I actually get a feel for how others react to them in their love life. I can sense how they are acting with me and the process which gives me the insight to share with them HOW they are being so they can see where they are stuck.
If you don’t have a coach, here are some examples of how you do personal development and how it shows up in dating and relationships:
- The passive one. You aren’t making an effort, always looking for some quick fix with minimal emotional involvement. You may even feel afraid of looking deeper or invest too much in yourself because you doubt that anything can help you. You never really try so you can justify why you don’t get anywhere in love.
- How it shows up in love: You meet people who won’t go deeper either. You wait passively for divine timing or when your astrology says the time is right. You think that love isn’t meant for you anymore. You got hurt too many times and you just want to wait and hope for things to change. But… they never do.
Solution: Design your ideal relationship (not the ideal persona of who you want to attract). Describe how you want to be treated, how you want to feel and how you want to live. Then, approach everything in life (your work, your friendships, your personal development process) as YOU want to be treated yourself. If you want a commitment, then commit to yourself, if you want someone to make an effort with you, then make an effort for yourself. As you make this shift in your mind and behavior, you will start to see others mirror back to you how you deserve to be treated.
You always get back what you put out. That is the law of karma. So, what will you put out today?
Debi Berndt and Dr. Robert Maldonado are the co-founders of Creative Love™, a personal development company that helps people attract, master and teach love. They’ve worked with thousands of singles across the world to find true love and their Creative Love™ Process is now taught in 13 different languages.Learn more here.