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Posts Tagged “Awareness”

How to Change Your Life Story Through Increased Awareness

How to Change Your Life Story Through Increased Awareness

It’s ok if you haven’t always known how to change your life story, or even what your life story is. At 15 years old, I was a mess. I was exceptionally miserable, smoking, drinking, and dabbling in drugs. Perhaps, some of you can relate? For me, on any particular day I could be sobbing in the bathroom, cutting myself, contemplating suicide, or just being plain reckless. I wish I could say that the despair started at 15, or ended then, but if I go back in my mind I can find it starting in my early childhood, and it lasted years later.

There are many ways that pain like this gets categorized: The histrionics of an adolescence, an uncommon experience of an unfortunate individual, growing pains (*rolls eyes*)… However you define it, my 15 year old self could not cope. For me, my pain became the story that guided the first part of my life. Learning how to change your life story is a skill that takes practice and it’s something you need to truly want. Here’s what I learned from my own experience of channeling my awareness to wake up and change my story to one of happiness, abundance, and purpose.

How to recognize the problem

The first question is how did it happen in the first place?

What happened to me happens to many people. Repeatedly and systematically, I was told that my instincts were wrong, that my emotional responses were bad, that my way of being was unacceptable. I was told I needed to think a certain way to be smart. I needed to feel a certain way to be good. I needed to talk a certain way to be accepted. My life became a series of acts, transactions, and obligations. I was disconnected from my own truth.

My experience is not unique and this was not done to me out of cruelty. In fact, sometimes it was done by people who were trying their best to be loving and supportive. Collectively, we lack the broad knowledge of essential tools that help people create a personal experience that truly serves them. Instead, we default to a misguided status quo as if every individual would be fulfilled by meeting cookie cutter expectations and norms. It is very rare that anyone tell you, in the midst of your formation, that you can learn how to change your life story.

Unfortunately, by the time most people have reached the end of their childhood they have little idea of who they are, negligible emotional intelligence, and a profoundly deep belief that they need to be another person to be loved. We feel this way at the culmination of our “formative years.” We learn to compensate for what we have come to believe are our shortcomings and weaknesses – we act the part to get by. Most of us forget that there is an alternative.


How to change your life story

Our limiting story has to be put into place.

Our first step in using awareness to change our life story is to begin to wake up to what is meaningful and enjoyable to us. It starts by pursuing a life where details large and small are things that are meaningful to us. We define what is “meaningful” through a process of personal inquiry into who we truly are. Giving ourselves this approach to life is a sign of love and respect.

As we begin to live in a way that feels right to us, we begin to uncover our own gifts. Often, these gifts have been covered over by the conditioning of our earlier lives. Many times, when we unpack what we thought was our fatal flaw we discover a powerful gift and a major part of our contribution to the world.

Our actions help us become more aware, they shift what we believe about ourselves and what we think is possible.

It is in this way that so much of who we are goes unrealized and our potential power to create our own wellbeing and positive change gets lost. Some of our seemingly meaningless quirks have a productive and positive application, we just need to wake up enough to begin looking for it. When we do, we feel better about ourselves and we begin to make a more positive contribution to the world.

ACCEPTANCE AND FORGIVENESS

Practicing forgiveness and acceptance is the key to changing our story. Acceptance and forgiveness are for both for ourselves and for others. It only takes a few trips to a therapist or an in depth writing exercise to become aware of our story. It takes a little more time to see how we keep ourselves on the hook and to begin the process of giving self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. Many people never develop this foundational respect for themselves and instead mask it with things like accolades, egoism, or bitterness.

Likewise, we cannot truly move forward until we have accepted the events of our lives and forgiven the people who we believe have hurt us. If we can become more aware of where we are holding onto past hurts, we can release them and liberate ourselves to create an entirely different narrative.

SELF-LOVE

The third awareness tool for changing our story is self love. As we become aware of what true self-love looks and feels like and learn to live it more in each moment, we begin to see our story differently and to envision an alternative story that better suits us.

When our self-love is strong enough, we are able to face the painful challenges of life. We are able to learn from what is happening and apply it to our life in a way that makes us stronger and more ourselves. As a result, we change the narrative.


Next Steps

Apply the wisdom that gets developed when living life from a place of self love and acceptance.

This wisdom can be applied to every moment of our lives. Our developed ability to hold ourselves in a place of love and take affirming action in the face of opposition has the power to transform our world. If we no longer negate ourselves or feel the need to justify and rationalize our pain, if we are able to act constructively when faced with the obstacles of life, if we are able to remember that we are the critical change agent of each moment, then what we can accomplish individually and collectively is without parallel.

Each day holds countless moments in which we can shift things in the direction of the positive, in which we have the opportunity to leave the past and create something powerful and new moving forward. I did it and I can help you if you want to learn how to change your life story. To learn more click here to sign up for my newsletter.

How Intention Without Attachment Creates a Happier Life

How Intention Without Attachment Creates a Happier Life

Most of us are aware that being intentional has many benefits for our life, but did you know that the key to really getting results is intention without attachment?

Intention without attachment means creating and holding an intention without becoming attached to a specific manifestation of the outcome of that intention. When we become attached to an outcome looking, or being, a certain way, we activate our fears related to having or not having it. This fear then shows up as a block in our path or draws negativity to it. This is often the reason why some people come to believe that setting intentions does not work.

Attachment is our over-investment in a particular outcome. We become attached because of some pain from the past that still haunts us, or because of an unmet need we have. In short, we become attached because of fear – fear that we might be hurt the way we were or suffer the same disappointment. This fear is potent. It is very often stronger than our new found intention and, because of this, creates chaos where we are trying to create order.

When we begin to notice that we have attachments that do not serve us, we are likely to wonder how we might let them go so that we can have more of what we want and create a happier life. However, we may not know how to let go of them.

One thing that we can do is recognize our unmet needs and begin to meet them in healthier ways. When we do this they cease getting in our way. We get stronger, healthier, and happier.

Another thing that we can do to let go of attachment is to begin to heal the pains of the past. In this case, it means fully mourning what was lost or not attained and coming to terms with the inevitable disappointments of life in a way that allows us to fully embrace a different tomorrow, despite the risks involved.

When we do this, our fear of having events repeat themselves diminishes, and, with it, our attachment to the outcome. We are left with a positive intention for what we want to bring into our life and we know we will be OK regardless of whether or not this need is met. Without the need for any more effort, we are at peace. This peace translates into a deep happiness that we can be both open to what we want and trust enough to know that what we get is what we truly need.

Are you looking for a way to let go of heavy emotional baggage and breakthrough to the next level of your personal development?

The Group Healing Intensive is designed to help you accomplish, in one weekend, the amount of personal transformational work that would take years of traditional therapy to accomplish.

To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.

Where Intention Goes Energy Flows: How to Focus Your Intention

Where Intention Goes Energy Flows: How to Focus Your Intention

The cure for a really bad day can actually be shifting your focus because where intention goes energy flows. It may seem overly simplistic but many of the things that really work in life are just that simple. The real trick is remembering to do them.

What is intention?


Intention is a focus on what it is that we want to experience in the future. We set an intention to carve a path toward a desired end. We set an intention to help us hold, in the present moment, what is most important to us.

How do we focus it?


When we bring our attention back to our intention (meaning both the words and the feeling of the intention) we are focusing on our intention. It is this remembering to bring our attention back that moves us into the reality of our intention.

What are some ways we can do this?

  1. Write down our intention in clear and present-tense language.
  2. Connect with how the intention feels and cultivate that feeling.
  3. Create an image of our intention to help guide us.
  4. Look for thoughts, feelings, and experiences that support our intention.
  5. Spend time each day focusing on our intention.
  6. When we get off track, refocus on our intention.

What is the result of the focus?


When we clarify, focus, and refocus on our intention we begin to see just how powerful of a tool intention really is. We see that it is perhaps one of the most important tools that we can use on a regular and consistent basis to create the life we truly want to live. We truly understand that where intention goes energy flows.

Are you looking for a way to let go of heavy emotional baggage and breakthrough to the next level of your personal development?


The Group Healing Intensive is designed to help you accomplish, in one weekend, the amount of personal transformational work that would take years of traditional therapy to accomplish.


To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.

where intention goes energy flows - dr kate siner

where intention goes energy flows - how to focus your intention - dr kate siner

How to Raise Your Awareness & Experience Great Freedom in Your Life

How to Raise Your Awareness & Experience Great Freedom in Your Life

Life is continually showing you how to raise your awareness, but do you see it’s instructions?

From my perspective, each and every moment of life is offering us an opportunity to become more aware. We are in a constant state of choice, in all of these moments, to either expand or contract. Expansion brings a richer experience of love, truth, gratitude, forgiveness, and service. Contraction brings limitation. The payoff of learning how to raise your awareness, even if it’s just in a few of these life moments, is exceptional.


how to raise your awareness - dr kate siner - 1


Sometimes we may overlook the choice we have to raise our awareness, and other times we may feel we don’t have the power, in that moment, to make it. The risk here is that, when we do not choose to expand our awareness, we get pulled in the opposite direction. The limitations of whatever we are experiencing start to become the structure of a myopic viewpoint, which makes it that much more difficult to choose something more than we currently have.


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Learning how to raise your awareness does not mean you will get it right every time. It does mean that you will have the toolkit to keep yourself better on track in your personal growth and that you’ll be more aware of your choice in each of life’s moments. If we are vigilant about our intention and willingness to become more aware, we can experience all that life truly has to offer.


how to raise your awareness - dr kate siner - 3


There are many ways to expand our awareness. The following are some tools that we can use to keep ourselves on track, regardless of circumstances. To do so, we only need to focus on the wisdom associated with the following words.

Love: A simple tool for liberating ourselves and returning to our heart. Finding our way back to love. Whether it is a busy morning and bad traffic or a fight with someone that you love, finding a way to return to a place of love provides us with a feeling of wellbeing and a springboard off of which we can launch into new levels of awareness. After all, is it more important to be angry at the other driver on the road or to feel a sense that we are all in it together?

Truth: It is very easy to get caught up in the “he said, she said” situations of the world. We begin arguing about the minutia that really make no difference and we quickly lose touch with our core and with the truth of our situation. When we start looking for the greater truth or speaking our personal truth we begin to open up to new awareness that creates real solutions to our situations.

Gratitude: Sometimes life is just one hard experience after another. There are stretches in time when it seems as if there is no relief. This can begin to wear us down and we can get stuck focusing on what we don’t have or what we have lost. Whether we are in hard times or not, remembering to see what we have, and be truly appreciative of it, is helpful in expanding our awareness. Where intention goes, energy flows – so when we pay attention to what we do have, we feel better and feel like we have more of it.

Forgiveness: Whatever grievances have been done to us, the only person who hurts because of our lack of forgiveness is us. When we hold onto the hurts of the past we pick up a heavy weight that restricts us from moving toward what would really serve us. When we learn this, and we remember to forgive others, we set ourselves free from the pains of the past and welcome in a brighter future.

Service: Our awareness is continually expanded by our willingness to see what we can do to change a situation for the better. This is an act of service. The question is, how can I contribute in a way that creates a better now? And if I can’t make a better now, then how about a better future? Being of service raises the bar on our own empowerment and helps us craft what we truly want.

When you work to expand your awareness, your cares and concerns shift and you feel a greater sense of freedom. Focusing on any of these practices helps us see that our experience of life is the result of our willingness to expand into new and better ways of doing things –to cultivate our awareness.

Are you looking for a way to let go of heavy emotional baggage and breakthrough to the next level of your personal development?

The Group Healing Intensive is designed to help you accomplish, in one weekend, the amount of personal transformational work that would take years of traditional therapy to accomplish.

To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.

The Point of Becoming Conscious

The Point of Becoming Conscious

As I write the title to this article, I can feel the spirit of Alan Watts frowning. “The point of becoming conscious? There is no “point” to doing a thing,” he might say, “because the activity itself is the reason.” Well hold on Alan Watts, I may not be letting you down after all.

If you are anything like me you have invested a disproportionate amount of time and money into personal development work that has yielded minimal result. When I first started, I was trying to alleviate the intense pain that I was feeling. I was looking for a cure for the human condition. Slowly, but surely, the search for a cure for the human condition led to learning the fundamentals of the practice of life. I began to see that we are not so much looking to fix something, as we are to find ways in each moment to create something that feels good, is positive, and fosters wellbeing.

The point of becoming conscious is to actively practice life. The purpose of therapy is to make us functional, whereas the purpose of consciousness study is to make ourselves, and our world, optimal. In therapy, we want to know how we came to be the way we are. In consciousness exploration, we want to know how to seize our potential. While the path to consciousness can be quite challenging at times (and can leave us wondering why on earth we chose this in the first place), “the point” of it is the lived sense of wellbeing and harmony with the world that we more consistently achieve.

A common misconception about consciousness study is that the point of becoming conscious is to control our lives in order to avoid difficult and painful experiences. This sort of “winning at the game of life” solution is really no solution at all. Regardless of whether we are diligent in our personal development or not, we are guaranteed a fair number of trying events throughout our life. Our years will still have their highs and lows, we will still have misunderstandings, and we will suffer incredible losses.

The point of becoming conscious, the point of personal development work, the point of learning the practice of life – is to learn the techniques that help us identify the pains and lows of life as the beacons of brighter tomorrows. These techniques tear us from the emotional water-wings we have been relying on in our ignorance and highlight the areas of ourselves to which we should turn our attention instead.

The study of consciousness teaches us to listen to and interpret life events differently. As we learn this skill, our reality shifts. What was unbearable, becomes negligible. What was dream-worthy, becomes the foundations for our new reality. We become more resilient, real and kind. The world and it’s meaning opens to us. Our beingness and our life become the point of becoming conscious, the point of everything.

7 Obstacles to Mindfulness (and how to overcome them!)

I came onto the path of mindfulness, meditation, and spirituality when I was 16 years old. I saw the TV-series Ed where the main character started experimenting with lucid dreaming.

That got me interested, and that is where my journey started. It hasn’t been an easy journey by any means, but I’m nearing a decade on this path, and I don’t regret it for a moment.

I’ve been through a lot of challenges, such as going through brief spurts of depression. I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough, and that life wouldn’t work out the way I wanted it to. In every one of these cases I let my thoughts run wild. I started focusing on the negative instead of on the positive, and I think many people have the same tendency.

So there have been both ups and downs, but in the end they have all been there for a reason. And with each “bad period,” I’ve learned more and more about myself.

Truly living in the present moment isn’t easy, but it is highly rewarding. The best way to move forward on your own path to “here and now” is to understand the potential obstacles and plan in advance how you’ll deal with them.

1. Mindfulness takes ongoing effort.
Mindfulness takes work, but the good news is that the longer you practice, the easier it gets, and the more joyful your life becomes. Mindfulness is best practiced throughout your day. It’s not just for when you sit down and meditate. Focus on being mindful of your thoughts when you’re doing everyday tasks and it will be easier to remain mindful when things get tough.

2. There will always be distractions.
When you’re on your journey to becoming more mindful, it seems as if the universe starts throwing stuff at you just to give you challenges. The distractions could be problems in your life, drama in your relationships, or old negative beliefs popping up from your past. These are great opportunities to practice present moment awareness. They will help you become stronger, better, and more in tune with yourself. The problems and challenges we face are teachers in disguise. They are there to help you grow and to realize who you truly are.

3. Progress doesn’t always come quickly.
Progress may seem excruciatingly slow. There will be times when you attach to things and situations that you want, which will make it difficult to be fully in the present moment. It’s impossible to be mindful when you’re dwelling on the past or obsessing about the future. We all do those things sometimes. I’ve experienced it countless times in my own life. The more I want something, the more I fixate on not having it and wanting to get it. Once I release the attachment and focus on being grateful for what I have in the moment, my life seems to shift, and progress seems to happen naturally.

4. You may want to give up.
Like with any worthwhile journey, you may feel like giving up and throwing in the towel multiple times. But it is during the times when you feel most frustrated that you are often on the verge of a breakthrough. Our lives are very similar to the seasons. We go through cold, dark winters, and joyful, expanding summers. It all comes and goes. It’s the ebb and flow of life. When you realize that the challenging times are there to help you grow, you will automatically feel more peaceful and relaxed.

5. Your goals may challenge your mindfulness.
Having goals is fantastic, essential even, but when you become overly attached to them, something bad happens, just like we talked about above. You know that you’re too attached to something when you start feeling frustrated, angry, and negative. Attachment muddles our clarity. You’re likely pursuing your goals because you believe they will make you happy. Remember that when you start letting your goals pull you into a stressful state of mind. If you focus on the good things around you, you’ll feel that happiness that you think you need to chase. This will make you much happier in the long term, and, of course, right now.

6. You might forget that the journey is the destination.
Most people miss the fact that the reward is in the journey. Have you ever noticed that when you reach a goal, it’s not as exciting as you thought it would be? Sure, it feels great to hit a milestone, but if you do not replace that goal with another one, you will soon find yourself feeling unfulfilled. That’s because we are goal-seeking mechanisms. Humans need goals so they can have a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It is in the journey that we learn, grow, and become better. When you’re practicing mindfulness, remember that there is nowhere to arrive at. If you focus on what is going on right now, the rest take care of itself.

7. Sometimes you’ll want to be anywhere but in the now.
Even the most enlightened masters on earth have to deal with difficult situations and chaotic thoughts. The difference is they have learned to accept the moment for what it is. When you do this, you become the guardian of your inner space, which is the only way to feel good inside and find peace of mind, right now.

Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud and he is also the author of Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself and Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life. The above article reblogged from TinyBuddha.com

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The 9 Key Components of Success

When most people talk about “success,” they’re often referring to outer things like money, title, and promotions.  But in reality, these outer accomplishments almost never bring a lasting sense of happiness or success.  They’re fleeting, and the goalposts are constantly shifting.

Instead, real success is a deeper, more satisfying experience of the heart, mind, and spirit, where the individual has committed to continuous, bold and empowering action that helps him/her feel confident, authoritative, and valuable to others in ways that are personally meaningful.

In over 10 years of working with career professionals, I’ve seen that the majority of people who reach out to me are actually not in a state of readiness for the success they desire.  They think they are, but they haven’t taken the right actions or developed appropriate mindsets and behaviors that would help them reach – and sustain — the success they dream of.  They’re just not there yet.

There are nine core categories of career success readiness that need to be mastered for professionals to achieve the success and fulfillment they long for (and these applies to any industry, field or function, and any level, for both men and women).

These nine categories of career success readiness are:

Understanding yourself deeply
You can’t achieve success on terms that are personally meaningful to you if you don’t know yourself.  Each of us has a distinct set of values, interests, histories, standards of integrity, non-negotiables and preferences that make up our own unique picture of success.  If you don’t know yourself intimately, the outcomes you’re focused on won’t end up generating the experience of success you want. 

Using your natural talents>/b>
I learned this the hard way, as have many of my clients – just because you’re great at a certain skill set doesn’t mean you enjoy using it in your work.  The most successful, fulfilled professionals use talents every day in their work that come naturally to them, that emerged early in their lives and they enjoy immensely.  You need to identify those natural talents that you use instinctively, with ease and grace. Those are the talents to focus on in your career if you want a lasting experience of success and happiness.

Engaging with people you respect and admire (including mentors and sponsors)
You can’t create lasting success if you operate alone, in a vacuum, with no one in your corner to support you.  If you find yourself isolated, with no role models, mentors, or sponsors, it’s a sign that you’re not ready for the success you dream of. You need fabulous people in your support community to help bolster you to the next level.

Setting goals and making decisions that support you

The type of success most people want isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s not a prize that just falls in your lap.  Forget the idea of a tipping point where you suddenly wake up “having it all.”   Success requires hard work (often tedious and painstaking) and continued commitment. It also takes effective decision-making and S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) goal-setting.

Committing continuously to your growth
A key to helping people grow exponentially is helping them stretch out of their comfort zone and close their “power gaps.” Power gaps are areas where people feel most insecure, vulnerable, and ashamed.  When people address, heal or revise those areas, the growth is quick and astounding.  What are the areas in your life and work where you feel “less than” and insecure – and what can you do to close those gaps today?

Relating in a healthy way to money, and having a keen understanding of financial and business realities Lasting success will elude you if you’re broken down in how you view, and deal with, money.  Many of us have a damaged relationship with money, and are forever chasing or resenting it, instead of attracting, embracing, and appreciating it.  Money is a form of energy, and if you’re blocked around it, so will be your experience of success.  In addition, if you’re running your own business, you need a solid, emotionally-neutral understanding of the financial and business realities you’re facing.  A “Build It and They Will Come” mentality without a solid financial and business grounding is a recipe for disaster.

Balancing and integrating life and work (and dealing effectively with stress)
I know so many people who’ve achieved outer “success,” only to have sacrificed everything in the process.  They wake up, often in midlife, to the horrible realization that they’ve given up everything that matters to them, just to rise to the top of the heap in their field.  If you aren’t able to integrate or balance successfully your work endeavors with your identity as an individual outside of the work you do, you’ll suffer.  And if the stress and strain of your work is making you sick and sad every day, it’s time to rethink your definition of success.

Being of use in the world
Thousands of people hit midlife and suddenly feel an aching disappointment – they realize that what they’ve been clamoring for in their 20s and 30s now feels empty and meaningless.  Perhaps it’s seeing the world through older, wiser eyes, or experiencing the mortality of their parents and friends that awakens people to wanting to do something more purposeful in the world.  (This was me, and here’s a brief video of my story.) Whatever the cause, midlife professionals often wake up to the desire to build a new legacy that they can be proud of.  In the end, you won’t feel successful if your work is meaningless to you.

Marketing yourself in a compelling way
Finally, in today’s times, because of the global competition we all face, if you can’t market yourself and communicate powerfully about your great talents, you won’t succeed in the way you hope.  Gone are the days in which you could leave marketing to someone else.  You have to know how you’re special and amazing, and how you stand apart from the best of the best in your field, and share that openly and confidently.  You need to be your own best advocate, and you can do it without being a braggart.  You just have to learn how.

* * * * Reblogged from Forbes.com. For more by Kathy Caprino, visit kathycaprino.com. (more…)

Why You Need To Increase Your Emotional IQ

Some people will promise you the world. They tell you that, if you just get their program or learn to be more positive, then you will be able to grow your business, be fulfilled, or what have you.

But they haven’t given you the whole picture. WHO you are on the inside is just as important as what you “know” and “believe.” That is what my work is all about.

While I don’t have a magic bullet (except for the blender) I do have something that has been working for millennia to help people live richer and more fulfilling lives. Awareness.

We have learned so much in our lives. And when we have not learned something, we use whatever information might be close to right to solve the problem at hand. When it comes to emotional issues we can forget what we have learned and when we learned it. Sometimes we can even completely lose sight of what we are feeling. Whether we are aware of it or not, though, these emotions — and sometimes the avoidance of them — play out in our daily lives.

Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling it are aspects of our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is our ability to regulate, assess, and identify the emotions of our self and others. When we are unable to do this, we wind up with a whole host of problems. Most people have not learned to be emotionally intelligent. It is not taught in most schools, in most homes, or even in most coaching training programs. Without being aware of what we are feeling and why we are feeling it, we are doomed to failure. Even if our work is a success in terms of money, our lives will not be at all fulfilling.

So, what can you do about it?

You can take a moment to pay attention to what is going on below the surface. When faced with a difficult person or circumstance, ask yourself what you need that you are not getting and what this person needs that they might not be getting. Then look for solutions that might enrich both of your lives.

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