Posts Tagged “Dr Kate”

What Intention Is Really All About

What Intention Is Really All About

One of the main problems we run into when we create something new is that we focus on what we don’t want to see happen, so much so that we forget to get clear about what we do want. This is true whether we’re starting a new business, a new relationship, or a new habit. Inevitably, when we pay more attention to what we don’t want we’re not able to see what we do want and how we can achieve or attain it. Intention is a big buzz word these days – from yoga classes to business journals. Let’s break down what intention is really all about.

Intention is:

  • The energy we focus on a desired outcome whether it be positive or negative.
  • Our conscious thoughts and feelings about an outcome.
  • Our unconscious thoughts and feelings about an outcome.

In essence, intention is the energy we focus on a particular outcome. As you’ve probably experienced, how we use our energy can have a huge affect on what happens in our lives! Intention is also our conscious – and often times our unconscious – thoughts and feelings about an outcome. So, what we think and feel about what we want makes a big difference in our ability to bring it into our lives.

Even when we’ve made our intention clear, sometimes we don’t get what we’ve set out for. Other times, we intend for one thing to happen and something entirely unexpected occurs. When your intention does not match your outcome, pay attention. It’s these moments that give us clues that something we’re doing might be keeping us from the results we seek.

Often times, we have lots of unconscious thoughts that oppose our conscious ones. When this happens, we’re unaware of what we’re doing that creates undesired outcomes. Another thing may of us do is that we spend a lot of time ruminating on our negative intentions. When we do this, we can’t see when possibilities to get what we want present themselves. This is because we’re so focused on what we don’t want that we fail to see an opportunity to get what we do want.

The good news is that we can change how we use our energy. Getting to know ourselves better and building some new habits can go a long way towards creating the outcomes we desire. Here are three things that you can do today to help bring your intentions into being.

Recognize Your Unconscious Opposition for What It Is

This one can be tricky. It’s pretty clear that we’re not aware of what we’re not aware of (duh!). So, how do we turn this around? In this instance, personal development work is the answer. When we examine ourselves and look for our blind spots, we’re generally able to find them. Personal development work helps us see how our thoughts, beliefs, and actions might have created the “negative intentions” that have held us back. And when we’re aware of our blind spots, we’re able to change our thinking so that we can begin to see the things we did not see before.

Be Patient with Yourself While You’re Building New Habits

A funny thing happens when we start using positive intentions. We may spend a few moments of each day focused on something we want to happen. And then we spend the rest of our day in our default mode – which is the same mode that got us where we didn’t want to be in the first place. All too often, we get frustrated and assume that our effort to bring about our intention is just not working. What we fail to remember in these moments is that it takes time to set a new default. And, it takes more time than saying an affirmation three times a day. So, be patient with yourself. Anything that focuses our energy in a positive direction is helpful, but it may take time to see the big results.

Practice Creative Thinking

Our negativity limits our thinking. It stops us from seeing what we could have or could create. And, quite frankly, when we spend time focused on what we don’t want, we have little time left over to imagine what we do want. To counteract this, take time each day to come up with creative ways to bring more of what you want into your life. What solutions haven’t you thought of? What could you do today that would be different and exciting? The point here is to practice thinking about what you can do and what you’d have fun doing. Creative thinking is linked to positive thinking. And when you can do both, your dreams can grow big.

Do you want to be a catalyst of change and have a profound, positive impact in the world by strengthening your own work?

The Integrative Transformational Coaching program is an exceptional training with top-notch resources for people who want to make a difference working with others one-on-one.

To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.

I can’t wait to get started with you if you are ready to take this next step forward in your work as a practitioner.

The Key to Happiness is Radical Self-Acceptance

The Key to Happiness is Radical Self-Acceptance

People ask me all the time what true happiness looks and feels like. My answer is always self-acceptance. The truth is that our happiness requires our acceptance – especially of parts of ourselves we like the least.

If you don’t have much context for self-acceptance, then you might not know what it’s all about. Let me put it into some concrete terms.

When you accept yourself, you’re okay with who you are. You’re also okay with you are not. You’re always on your side – no matter what happens in your life.

Self-acceptance definitely takes some practice. We all can get carried away with thoughts that are self-shaming, self-judging or self-criticizing. When you catch yourself thinking these kinds of thoughts, I suggest that you douse yourself with self-acceptance because it really is the best antidote to feeling cut down or simply not good enough.

You can get a sense of how self-accepting you are by asking yourself the following questions:

    Am I at peace with all my decisions?
    Do I love myself –even my not-so-great parts?
    When faced with information that supports a less than noble view of myself, can I love myself and also challenge myself to be more?
    When in a disagreement, can I respect my own view while respecting the other person’s?
    Do I know that no matter what I discover about myself that I’m truly good?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Self-acceptance is a continual pursuit that’s just as much about your relationship to yourself as it is about your relationship to others.

If you want to work on building your ability to accept yourself, you can start with these exercises that come from my book Real Answers.

Ask Powerful Questions:

    The following prompts help you shed some light on the areas of your yourself and your life that would benefit from some self-acceptance.
    Complete these statements about yourself:
    • One thing I have a difficult time accepting about my life, but deep down know is true, is:
    • Some of the things I feel I need to accept about my life are:
    • The reason I know these things are difficult to accept is:
    • I will know that I have fully accepted these things about my life when:
    • This stops me from accepting these things about my life:
    • I would accept these things about my life if only:
    • I am afraid that if I accept these things about my life, then:
    • What I need to do to accept these things about my life is:

Speak Your Truth:

    One of the ways we move into a deeper level of acceptance is by speaking our truth about our lives. This reinforces our sense of our experiences and makes them more real for us.
    When we acknowledge what’s real for us, we’re better able to accept what might have been difficult in our past as well as in our present.
    For example, after a fight I once had with a friend I created a self-serving story that my friend was unfair and overreacted. This story, however, was really a set of judgments that kept me from accepting my friend’s perspective and healing each of our bruised feelings.
    I realized that if I spoke my truth from my perspective, I could build a bridge of understanding with my friend. Phrases like: “What I saw was …,” “What I felt was …,” “What I experienced was …” helped me to break down information according to my truth and allowed me to see the situation in its more complex reality.

Talk to Someone Who Was There:

    If someone has gone through a similar experience ― or, as is often the case with family members, the same experience ― sharing it with those who understand helps us build acceptance. This is part of the reason why group therapy works so well.
    When we talk about a shared or similar experience, we’re better able to process what happened and recognize its impact.
    People who suffer trauma often minimize its effect or simply don’t recognize it at all. They might not realize that their depression or their angry outbursts are related to their trauma. Talking about life events that we struggle to accept helps us see how these experiences connect inside of us and how we live them out.

Acceptance of your personal experience radically changes the way you approach almost every aspect of your life and ultimately allows you to engage the world in a more positive, productive way.

Want a step-by-step guide to find and live your life purpose? My Morning Mindset Life Purpose is an inspirational daily video series that delivers tips, insights and exercises straight to your inbox for three weeks. Morning Mindset will help you step-in your purpose and live your life to its fullest. Learn more here!

How (and When) To Listen to Your Body!

How (and When) To Listen to Your Body!

There are times when we get a premonition or a gut feeling about a situation. Perhaps it’s a flash or an insight that shows us events to come.  Or perhaps it’s a feeling that what we’re doing leads us astray from what we truly want.

Sometimes we listen and respond to our premonitions and sometimes we don’t. What I want to explore here is why don’t we listen to ourselves? Why do we choose to tune out our feelings, intuitions and observations? And, if we made the effort to tune in, how could we listen to ourselves more effectively?

What I’ve learned through my work is that people have unique ways of processing information, though there are commonalities that run through particular personality types. I try to help people learn how to best hear, listen, and then respond to their inner-guidance.

All too often, we don’t recognize our feelings or sensations as inner-guidance. We might feel ill-at-ease or hear an inner voice express concern. Yet, somehow we fail to realize that we’re receiving crucial information from within and not simply churning thoughts or ill-founded worries.

You might ask: “once we understand this internal information as guidance why on earth would we choose to not listen to it?”

We generally disregard our inner-wisdom for several reasons. Most often our inner-guidance cuts against what we want to be true or how we want things to go. Sometimes, though, our minds are so cluttered with the details of our everyday lives that we cannot fully hear what our bodies are trying to tell us. It’s easy to lose sight of our deeper truth in the busy-ness of modern life.

To hear our inner-guidance we need to clear out our clutter. We need to clear it out from our lives, our minds, and our hearts.

Once we’ve made some space, we’re better equipped to tune into and listen to ourselves.  The truth is that the messages we receive from within are frequently direct and simple. They tell us: “Stop doing this or start doing that.” Our job is to focus and refocus on the simplicity of the guidance we’re getting and figure out how to align ourselves with that simplicity.

This skill is more of an art. Aligning and realigning with our inner-guidance takes an equal measure of finesse and surrender.

Are you looking for a way to help other people transform their lives and have a profound impact in the world or a pathway to strengthening your work with others?

The Master Transformational Coaching program is designed to give you individualized training and top-notch resources to help you become profoundly successful doing what you are meant to do.

To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.

If you are ready to take this next step towards your life purpose, I can’t wait to meet you.

A True Place of Peace Amongst the Chaos

A True Place of Peace Amongst the Chaos

There are events in which we lose something we never thought we’d lose: our perspective, our health, a loved one. These life-altering events can leave us reeling. In these moments it can seem that the world is an unfair place and we are at its mercy. Or perhaps we fail to judge the fairness of our situation and simply grieve that it’s happening.

In these moments we often grasp at what’s familiar. We try to negotiate a way to have and to hold what we previously held so dear. We fight, we deny, and we pretend that things have not changed. Yet, we can not un-know what we know – things are no longer the same.

These are the least peaceful times in our lives. This is when what we want to be and what is are at odds.

In his very powerful essay, David Whyte describes anger as our response to seeing something we held dear destroyed. This can be an idea, a relationship, or a state of being. Our anger states: “I have loved this and I’m not ready to let it go. I’m not ready to accept its fate. I’m not willing to accept my fate.”

When we approach the gravesite of what we once held dear, we are fraught with anguish. We want justice. We want to hold someone accountable. While others might be involved, they will never hold enough responsibility for the situation to appease our need for retribution.

We can keep fighting or we can be humbled by our humanity, by our intrinsic vulnerability.

We can find within ourselves a bravery that allows us to accept the ebb and flow of life. This kind of bravery sources its sense of peace from the practice of acceptance and not protection.

Protection is a strong and peculiar habit. We believe that we protect ourselves by cloaking our vulnerability and disappointment with anger, sadness, or avoidance. We convince ourselves that donning an outer armor is the only way that we can survive the inevitable heartache that comes with loss. But a shield expects an onslaught. Our protective gestures create the environment for a continual fight.

Conversely, acceptance is the fabric of a durable, permeable peace. It permits us to open to life, to allow for its expansion and contraction. It enfranchises us to give a rightful place to our anger and need to hold only as long as serves us. Most important, acceptance allows us to be remade again and again in the fire of what we believe we cannot bear. And this is where we find our peace.

Want a step-by-step guide to find and live your life purpose? My Morning Mindset Life Purpose is an inspirational daily video series that delivers tips, insights and exercises straight to your inbox for three weeks. Morning Mindset will help you step-in your purpose and live your life to its fullest. Learn more here!

How To Bring Major Romance Back Into Your Relationship

How To Bring Major Romance Back Into Your Relationship

All too often, a good relationship downgrades into a ho-hum affair because we fail to keep up the spontaneity and interest that comes with a new love. Worse yet, even the most well-intentioned people get stumped at how to show they care for their loved one after the honeymoon ends.  Little acts that once felt so rich with romance –  sweet gestures like whispering “I love you,” sharing a nice dinner, or bringing home flowers – begin to lose their potency.

While these are nice gestures that signal our love for our partners, their impact wanes if they’re the only ways we show our lover how much we care for and desire them.

In a love relationship, the things that seem counter-intuitive to everyday intimacy are the very same things that fuel real romance. Desire requires distance, surprise, vulnerability, adventure, and play. Desire for your partner gets red-hot when you’re attentive to all the wonderful things that make your loved one different and unique. 

On the other hand, things like continuity and familiarity are essential to intimacy and are so important in creating a sense of safety in relationships.

So to create and sustain a great relationship – one that’s full of passionate, erotic and compassionate connection – you need to flex your creativity and make your partner someone you’re really curious about. The best part is that when you get curious about your loved one, it’ll be easy and fun to come up with creative ways to lavish them with love.

Don’t know where to start? Try these on for size!

1. Get Your Poetic Flow On

    Inspiration is within reach most of the time. So, cozy up to your inner-bard and write a poem about your partner. See if you can capture what you love about them in this expressive form.  If you brainstorm adjectives, qualities or feeling you associate with this person, you’ll quickly create phrases that inspire you and tap into the initial wonder you felt when you first fell in love with your partner. If a poem seems too high-stakes, then why not write your partner a love letter that expresses some of the things about them that you find wonderful and desirable.
    Then, take a risk! Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Share your poem or letter with your paramour and notice how it makes each of you feel. The reality is that vulnerability opens the door to greater emotional intimacy.

2. Shout Out the Tiny, Beautiful Things That Make Your Partner Shine

    Okay. Really want to turn your partner on? It’s time to call attention to the million little things about your partner that no one else knows but you.  When we fall in love, we notice all these little details about the other person. We’re enamored by the way they drink their coffee or the way their hair looks first thing in the morning.
    Yet soon into a new relationship, those delicious little details become familiar and so we cease to see them as remarkable.
    The thing is that these little wonderful things about your partner did not suddenly become less wonderful – it’s that you’ve ceased to be wow’d by all the things that make your partner them! It’s so important to look at our beloved with fresh eyes and to delight in all the little idiosyncrasies that increase our feelings of love.
    Want bonus points? Lovingly share all the things about your partner that you find captivating and attractive. Let them know how he or she is truly special to you. Trust me, this will make BOTH of you feel great.

3. For One Night, Get Indulgent

    If your version of a nice time with your lover is the classic wine and dine scenario, TAKE IT UP A NOTCH!
    For one night, design a fantastic, and yes decadent experience for your love. Or, get adventurous and create a totally new experience for the two of you to share based on something your partner loves.
    For example, take a bubble bath with candlelight, wine, chocolate, the smell of jasmine and opera music. Or, walk in the woods bundled in soft fabrics and take turns telling each other about the beautiful things you see.
    The thing is that little adventures have this way of turning you on and making you feel really alive. And this, my friends, is what passion is all about.

4. Get Busy Giving

    Tap into your inspiration and find something – or make something – that will let another person know how special they are to you.
    When you think about bringing pleasure to someone else’s life, you naturally think creatively and playfully about what’s in the world and how to use it. And even better, when you give a gift your heart opens up and you feel satisfied on a deeper level.
    It’s too easy to let days slip by where we’re distracted from what matters most. So challenge yourself to spend an hour each week doing one of these activities. It won’t take long before you’ll feel more connected to your beloved and more passionate about your relationship.

Are you ready to dramatically shift your life in the direction you want and need it to go?

The Group Healing Intensive allows you, in a weekend, to do the amount of personal transformational work that would take years of traditional therapy to accomplish. But that is just the beginning of the benefits.

If you feel it’s time to stop waiting for “some day” and that you’re ready to step fully into a new and vibrant way of being, Group Healing Intensive is for you! To learn more, CLICK HERE.

3 Ways to Make Your Day-to-Day Life Way More Harmonious

3 Ways to Make Your Day-to-Day Life Way More Harmonious

Yesterday I led a workshop for my LifeWork Community Program on the topic of Harmony.

All of my studies and all of my experiences have led me to the understanding that a harmonious life is connected the expression of one’s personal truth. Put another way, you’re in harmony when you’re in your truth.

While “harmony” is a universal idea, each person has their own truth that they live and breathe. With 7 billion people now on the planet, I often wonder how can we take 7 billion unique ways of being and get them to fit together harmoniously?

As we see everyday, our ways of being seldom synch up peacefully. We fight, we war, we oppress others based on the color of their skin, their gender, or their beliefs.

Yet, in the face of this apparent disharmony, I still believe that harmony is ultimately attainable.

What I call harmony is not as lofty as a utopian principal. It’s much more down to earth. It’s something that we can strive for each day.

I like definitions of harmony that refer to it as an agreement or congruity. I see it as an accord between two or more things.

Yet, all too often we block ourselves from perceiving harmony. We cultivate – and give into – mindsets that analyze, deny or set up false dualities.

These mindsets are so common it’s no wonder that people often cry out for peace. When we approach our lives through criticality, we analyze our moments so that we can’t see the proverbial “forest through the trees.”

All of these mindsets contain a common element of “this not that.” This means that we set up dichotomies in which we pit situations against each other. One example of this line of thinking says: if I forgive this person, then they win. Another is: if you want something to work, then you need to figure out all the ways it might not work to prevent failure.

Each of these lines of thinking generates a lack of harmony in our world.  And this is important. We’re bold to assume that the universe is or is not harmonious based on our own experience of it.

There are ways we can look at the world through a more harmonious lens. We can choose to accept people and situations with which we struggle. We can try to see and empathize with what’s happening on either side of a scenario. We can look at how things fit together rather than how they conflict.

If you want to build more harmony into your life, here are a few skills you can practice everyday.

    Acceptance: Acceptance is the opposite of denial.  Yet, it’s not as simple as adopting a belief or idea. Rather, it’s the ability to let go of the struggle, regardless of whether that struggle is rooted in reality or fantasy.
    Curiosity: If we inquire into that which we disprove or deconstruct, we can learn how it works rather than how it doesn’t work.
    Unity: If we allow many ideas to exist alongside one another rather than thinking in terms of either/or, we open to a new world of possibilities. It’s not about making all ideas line up. Rather, its about allowing them to exist in their multiplicity.

Want a step-by-step guide to find and live your life purpose? My Morning Mindset Life Purpose is an inspirational daily video series that delivers tips, insights and exercises straight to your inbox for three weeks. Morning Mindset will help you step-in your purpose and live your life to its fullest. Learn more here!

Creativity is a Collective Process. And Here’s Why!

Creativity is a Collective Process. And Here’s Why!

Creativity is a big buzz word these days, particularly in the business world. I’ve come across a lot of articles that talk about the benefits of cultivating creativity in your personal and professional life. And for the most part, I tend to agree with them.

But what these articles tend to miss is that creativity is a collective process. They tend to perpetuate the myth that creativity is a mysterious, solo act. And this simply isn’t true.

Creativity has as much to do with how you respond to yourself as it does with how you respond to your environment. It requires that you say “yes” to yourself more. “Yes” to daydreaming a new solution to a vexing problem. “Yes” to the fact your “out-of-the-box” idea might actually be the right idea.

But creativity also requires that we say “yes” to others more, especially when it pertains to our passions and life purpose. It requires that we say “yes” more to inviting the input, feedback and support of those we trust most.

All too often, we safeguard against failure and risk as we contemplate acting on our “crazy” dream or goal. This limits our capacity for creativity and innovation and keeps us further from our dreams.

This is where creative thinking is essential. It connects us to a greater sense of possibility. It also connects us to our authentic self. When we tap into our creative self, we quickly realize that the “only one right way” myth really isn’t true. What is true is that there are always limitless options. Yet, we’re conditioned to ignore this limitlessness.

Here are several ways that you can boost your creative energy in your life.

    1. Support All Answers: There is a basic tenet behind becoming a more creative thinker: say yes before you say no. Many people think the first step is engaging their logical mind to determine if an idea is good or not. However, bad ideas are often the fodder for really great ideas. When we get all ideas out on the table, the options – and especially the good options – multiply exponentially.
    2. Encourage Involvement: Regardless of where you’re at with an idea, this point always applies. When you encourage involvement, you’re open to each and every person who is willing to put in their two cents. Why do you want to do this? Because this helps your idea become as powerful and innovative as possible. This doesn’t mean you take every opinion at equal value. It means you engage as many people as possible so that you can learn about the strengths and weaknesses of your idea while it’s in development.
    3. Think Outside the Box: When you do these first two things, you set the stage for the third. The primary ingredient for creativity is a willingness to look where no one has looked before. This is why it’s so important to listen to all ideas. Wacky ideas exist outside of the box and they help us find the good ideas that are also out there. If you feel stuck, you might benefit from seeing what ideas or people you have not been willing to enlist to get you to think more creatively.

Are you looking for a way to help other people transform their lives and have a profound impact in the world or a pathway to strengthening your work with others?

The Master Transformational Coaching program is designed to give you individualized training and top-notch resources to help you become profoundly successful doing what you are meant to do.

To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.

If you are ready to take this next step towards your life purpose, I can’t wait to meet you.

Transforming Failure into Inspiration

Transforming Failure into Inspiration

One thing I hear over-and-over again from people is that they’re afraid to fail.

They’re afraid of what others will think about them if they fumble towards their goals. They’re afraid to endure the pain of falling short or failing. And so, they make their fears their reality. They stop short on realizing their goals or don’t take action in the first place.

I certainly have feared failure. And my fear has, at times, paralyzed me.

If you’ve experience this, then you know how much it sucks.

Sometimes fear of failure is rooted in perfectionist tendencies. Perfectionists never feel good enough. When they realize they’ve made a mistake, it’s enough to take them down into a place of self-criticism and self-shame. Often times, this stops perfectionists from doing anything at all.

A perfectionist streak can hurt your health, career and relationships. This is because it exacerbates fears of failure so much so that you don’t reach for your goals at all. Compounding this is the internal judgment and negative dialog that’s part of the perfectionist’s tool box and are used as weapons against themselves for not achieving what they deeply want to achieve.

If you relate to this, there’s hope! You can change your perfectionist tendencies by embracing your limitations and failures. This isn’t an easy thing to do. It takes ongoing patience, but it can be learned.

Here are five things that you can do to become less of a perfectionist.

    1. Stop performing: Do you find yourself making everything polished and perfect? Does everyone think you’re amazing – all the time? It can be great to be amazing. But know what’s even better? Being liked for who you really are! Instead of perfection, aim for genuine.
    2. Lean into your mistakes: If you’re screwing up, let yourself screw up. It can even be fun. Take it from me – a self-professed serious person. Make a point of not taking YOURSELF to seriously.
    3. See your mistakes as opportunities: There is something to be gained from every time we fail. How can you turn the coal of your moment into a diamond?
    4. Give credit to and enjoy your strengths and limitations: A funny thing happens when you embrace either your strengths or limitations – you become better able to embrace its opposite. This means you increasingly step into your full self.
    5. See it as a gift: When you’re willing to accept your limitations, everyone around you breathes a bit easier. This is because when you accept your shortcomings, you create an environment of love and acceptance that helps helps everyone around you heal themselves.

Want a step-by-step guide to find and live your life purpose? My Morning Mindset Life Purpose is an inspirational daily video series that delivers tips, insights and exercises straight to your inbox for three weeks. Morning Mindset will help you step-in your purpose and live your life to its fullest. Learn more here!

What Takes You Away from Being You?

What Takes You Away from Being You?

One of the most useful skills is the ability to “clear.”  I use this skill daily to weed out the things in my life that don’t serve me. These things are not necessarily external. Quite often they’re internal. By consistently eliminating what holds me back from being my full self, I’m increasingly able to live from my core.

What Takes You Away from Being You?

When it comes to your deeper truth – there are two things that you need. You need to have a sense of who you and the opportunity to express your full self. It’s worth asking, though, if there are situations in which self-expression might bring you harm? And if so, what can you do when we find yourself such a situation?

Here are a few common situations that tend to inhibit your free, full expression of your deepest truth.

Negative Connections:

    Some people bring you down. Other people push or drag you down. The latter is the most toxic. It’s important to clear your life of anyone or anything that is a constant downer unless you feel unhampered by their behavior. Just as a steady diet of straight sugar would leave you feeling horrible, if you digest ongoing negativity you’ll feel pretty awful inside.

Holding Grudges:

    Holding a grudge is easy to do. Yet, it’s so harmful for our overall health! When you don’t allow ourselves to forgive others, you do ourselves harm. You might not notice it at first, but the anger that encases your grudge takes you apart bit by bit.

Unresolved Issues:

    Do you need to apologize to someone or confront them about an unresolved issue? Do you have a lingering doubt? Loose ends are energy leaks. They make it harder to stay on track with things that help us fully express who we are.

Negating and Discrediting:

    Do you put yourself into situations where you are not seen or even outright discredited?  Are you made fun of or put down because of who you are? Just like racist jokes are not funny, neither are comments that undermine who you.

It’s important to recognize these situations when they happen in your life. Once you’ve spotted these drains on your full expression, you’ve got a lot of options.

“Clearing” is one of the most important skills I teach in my LifeWork Programs. We all need to learn how to remove physical and emotional toxins from our bodies and environments so that we can remain healthy.

In fact, the ability to “clear” is a step along the way towards your personal development.  As you move through your growth process, there will be times when you face challenges rooted in present circumstances or from the past.  You will make the best choices for yourself if you remember to return to your core self. You’ll also show yourself real self-care if you take a mental and emotional shower after a hard day of personal challenges.

Here’s what that looks like in action!


    When you have negativity in your life that blocks you from being able to express your deeper nature, one clear step towards getting clear is taking space from your everyday life. This is one part of a larger operation. Because it’s also important that you learn to disconnect mentally, emotionally, and energetically. Even if someone is no longer in your life, they can continue to have a negative impact.  Maybe you replay the emotions or thoughts associated with the negative circumstance. Maybe there is just a feeling of negativity related to the person.
    There are so many clearing techniques to help you disconnect.  One of the exercises I recommend in my LifeWork Program is gratitude. Stop three times a day and notice five things for which you’re grateful. Notice how your feel before and after you reflect your gratitude back towards yourself.


    Holding onto the memory of hurt only hurts you. A grudge won’t ensure you make a different choice in the future. A grudge won’t protect you from future hurt.  In truth, the energy that it takes to hold a grudge could be put to better purposes.
    If you’re holding a grudge, see if you can find compassion for this other person.  A great forgiveness exercise is Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Look it up online. The practice of the prayer essentially goes like this.
    I’m sorry
    Please forgive me
    Thank you
    I love you
    Repeat each one of these statements while thinking of the other person.

Tie up your loose ends!

    Create a list of everything unresolved or unfinished in your life – the big and the small. Make a point to clear up one thing at a time until you’ve checked all the boxes on your list.


    Sometimes the best thing you can do to get clear is to not pick up the problem in the first place. If you’re being discredited or put down, recognize that this is someone else’s perspective. It’s not yours. You can learn from this other perspective without accepting it. Instead, return to what is true for you to keep yourself free and clear of things that hold you back from being your full self.

Are you looking for a way to help other people transform their lives and have a profound impact in the world or a pathway to strengthening your work with others?

The Master Transformational Coaching program is designed to give you individualized training and top-notch resources to help you become profoundly successful doing what you are meant to do.

To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.

If you are ready to take this next step towards your life purpose, I can’t wait to meet you.

This is what SELF-LOVE really means

This is what SELF-LOVE really means

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.” 
― Lao Tzu

Throughout history, religious and mystical teachers have emphasized the importance of knowing yourself. They have universally recognized inward inquiry as the path toward wisdom and outward fulfillment.

In the 20th century, psychology ushered in a new arena for this inquiry. Psychology – and its effect on our social consciousness – kick-started the now 10-billion-dollar self-help industry, which provides everything from genius insight and guidance to quackery.

Sadly, the personal development industry often sells ineffective solutions to the human condition. This is because personal development authors and leaders don’t consider the actual mechanism necessary to produce the solution desired. For example, an author or leader might stress the importance of knowing oneself, but fail to realize that most people don’t know what this actually means.

The greatest example of this disconnect is the longstanding insistence that telling one’s story and understanding one’s past is sufficient to create change. This thinking states that someone who told their story and rooted through their past and – yet – things had not changed for them must have some part of them left uncovered.

Jung, whose insights penetrated far past the interpretations of his work, said: “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”

A camp of psychologists called Behaviorist challenged this insistence. Their work began by extrapolating how to create change based on the behavioral patterns they observed in mice. They focused on changes to behavior in place of changes to understanding.

While the field of psychology learned quite a bit from these differing approaches, I believe they each largely missed the mark in their attempt to help a person thrive within the human condition.

Fulfillment doesn’t simply come when we change our behavior nor does it come when we excessively comb through our past. Rather, it’s the result of the wisdom gained from internal inquiry expressed through our day-to-day experience.

Jesus said, “He who has not known himself does not know anything, but he who has known himself has also know the depth of all.”

Unfortunately, the path to apply this knowledge is nowhere to be found in religious texts. There have been many superficial maps that guide the way to self-knowledge. Most often, these maps are dictates for social conduct. The actual guidance is only spoken about in mystical traditions.

The way I see it, wisdom is the key that opens the door to our selves and self-knowledge. We’re able to create inspired lives that make a difference when we rely on and apply our wisdom.

So, how do we apply our wisdom and access our deep self-knowledge?

I say start with Self-Love! To me, self-love is the total acceptance of ALL of who you are.

Yet – if I had a dime for every time someone asked me: “How can I start loving myself” or “What does self-love even mean?”

If you Google self-love, you’ll get a lot of answers like “do what you love” and “pay it forward.” While these practices help, they generally don’t get us there because they emphasize behavioral shifts alone.

You can read this quote and quite likely it touches you in some way. “You can search through the entire universe for someone more deserving of your love and affection than yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself as much as anyone in the universe deserve your love and affection.” Buddha

You KNOW it’s true. But how do you actually get there?

The mechanism for getting there begins with looking inward – to begin the search for your deeper nature inside yourself. This, however, is only one half of the process. As you look in, you must look outside yourselves and begin to take normal and prescribed action in your world. At this juncture you either gain more wisdom and fulfillment or more pain based on how you apply the information you receive. You can see what happens next as guidance in the direction of your true nature or you can see it as another obstacle.

The truth is: there is no difference between “loving yourself” and “being yourself.”

When we use all of our interactions with the world to guide us in the direction of our true and deep nature and then choose to express our nature to the world, we experience the deepest form of self-love possible.

When we do this with others, it is loving them.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” 
― C.G. Jung