Posts Tagged “Making Decisions”

How Do You Choose?

On my radio show last week, a woman called in and asked “How can I know what is the right way to move forward?” Which argument from her mind can she trust when she can make so many different arguments to go in one direction or another?

This is such a good question! Our minds can confuse us to no end. So, how can we find our way out of this confusion into clarity about how to move forward?

We need to learn to live from our core.

One way to define the core (a term that comes from Core Energetics) is that it is the deepest part of ourselves that we have access to. In Core Energetics, they teach that there are three aspects of the self: the mask, lower self and core self. The mask is our persona. The face we put on for the world so that we can get along. Our lower self is the part of us that runs on animal instinct. This is fight, flight or freeze. It is about survival in a primal sense. Our core self on the other hand is best understood as transcendent love, as our deepest truth and highest human ideals.

When you are more connected to your core, your path forward seems clearer, you feel happier and more at peace, and you are able to have a more positive impact. Think about it this way. Would you rather make your decision from a place where you are doing what you think you should or have to do, where you are angry or fearful, or where you are in contact with the highest truest part of yourself?

That kind of breaks it down, right?

So, lets look at some ways that you can connect in with the core of who you are:

Challenge your Mask: Most of the time we walk around in the superficial part of our selves – the mask. In fact, many people don’t even know that is where they are living from. You can challenge you mask by asking if what you are thinking or feeling is actually true or if it might be able to be viewed from a different perspective. The work of Byron Katie does a wonderful job of challenging the mask and reconnecting people with a deeper part of themselves.

Do things you love: It is a very simple fact that if you do more things you love you feel happier, more fulfilled and more at peace. The trick is to know if you REALLY love what you are doing or if you have just adopted it because it is socially acceptable. So, pay attention. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi talks about this in his book Flow. This book states that when we are doing things we truly love we experience things like time disappearing because we are so engrossed in what we are doing.

Get inspired: From a beautiful painting to a sublime piece of music, we connect with our core when we are inspired. This effortless way of returning to our core can be used frequently through our days and weeks to nurture this connection.

Know your values: When we are in integrity with ourselves, we are more connected to the core of who we are. One of the things that I teach in my programs is that there are no methods or rules that guarantee a person fulfillment and success because each one of us needs to create a life and or business that is in alignment with who we are at a deep level and our values help us do this.

Return to love: The most challenging and most profoundly life-changing strategy for connecting with your core is simply returning to love when you have left it behind. This requires that you are experienced enough with feeling deep love and that you are aware enough to switch gears at will. This is also a central teaching in my work. I believe that as people learn to do this their life becomes infinitely better.

Speaker, Author and Mentor Dr. Kate Siner has been helping people connect to their core and live inspired lives for over 15 years. Join Kate on her weekly radio show Real Answers, Thursdays at 9am PST to get answers to your most important questions on how to live a fulfilled and joy filled life.


A Key To Making Big Decisions Easier

It comes and goes. Sometimes we feel like we are on track to our  dreams and other times we can feel overwhelmed and a bit hopeless about ever reaching them. Devoting yourself to your soul’s ambition is not always an easy street.

Here are some things that are helpful to know:


It gets harder once you commit: When you decide to fully commit yourself one of the first things that you can come up against is all of your resistance. This is not a sign that things are going wrong. Keep moving. You are on the right track.


The eternal revisions: Think you have it down once and for all? Well, um, unlikely. You have committed to a process. There will be points along the way where events will encourage you to take a second, and sometimes fifth, look at where you are going.  This can be hard but having the courage to look will go a long way.


When it is over: Sometimes, our greatest dreams turn out to be stepping stones. Know that if your dream turns out to be less on target than you originally thought that this is not a failure it is the beginning of something larger than which you were previously able to dream.


Overall, the key is not to figure it out. It is to get deeply connected with yourself and your own truth. The more that you can connect in to your core, the easier it will be for you to make the decisions you need to grow.


Leadership Skills: Decisions, Decisions

Leaders need to be decisive and stay tenaciously on track. Fundamentally this means maintaining a persistent focus on their goals as much as possible and doing all that they can to motivate others. The list below describes what many of the most decisive and persistent leaders do in practice to achieve this:

  1. Conveys a sense of urgency in achieving the desired results; shows others how to act quickly and responsively.
  2. Demonstrates clear purpose, enthusiasm and commitment to own goals. Directs his or her attention fully on the task; minimizes distractions; focuses on results, not just activities and long hours.
  3. Doesn’t give up easily, even when his/her work is not utilized, or fully adopted and continues to produce and thrive even when his/her ideas are met with resistance and/or disinterest.
  4. Encourages employees to set ambitious goals; rewards efforts and achievements; gives credit where credit is due; serves as an example to others in personal performance terms.
  5. Handles multiple projects effectively; isn’t upset by too many things up-in-the-air; shifts gears quickly and comfortably.
  6. Has a broad perspective on what is important; participates in setting own personal goals.
  7. Inspires others through own drive and determination to meet ambitious goals and objectives; Mobilizes people to accept tough challenges willingly.
  8. Is able to effectively manage time to set and achieve demanding deadlines; projects a sense of urgency and brings issues and projects to closure.
  9. Is not easily discouraged by lack of progress; tries another tactic cheerfully and willingly.
  10. Is persistent and dogged about meeting deadlines, even when faced with unexpected obstacles; follows through with work to completion; doesn’t let things drop.
  11. Maneuvers well around roadblocks in a complex, ever-changing environment. Pursues everything with energy, drive, and a need to finish; perseveres in the face of adversity.
  12. Pursues opportunities for self-improvement on a continuous basis.
  13. Requests assignments that will build his/her skills and knowledge base.
  14. Sets definite time-frames for task and project completion and holds him/herself and subordinates accountable for deadlines.
  15. Takes the initiative to push beyond what is expected; works hard to improve performance and test own limits.
  16. Understands how the organization functions and can get things done through formal channels as well as informal networks.
  17. Understands that people are driven by different factors (i.e., challenge, money, doing well, etc.); knows how to look for that motivation and then applies appropriate motivators differentially.
  18. Works effectively in ambiguous situations; steps forward to establish a structure; seeks out unstructured situations as opportunities to demonstrate leadership.

reblogged from readytomanage.com


Are You Ready?

I consistently hear from people that they KNOW that they need to work with me but they do not have enough money, time, or support to make it happen. When you decide not to do something because of limited resources, when do you know if it is a real reason and when is it just an excuse? I feel that this is a very important question to answer so that we can make the healthiest, most empowering decisions for ourselves.

So how do you know if it is the right time to take that leap, to stretch, bend or extend yourself to get something you want?

There are a lot of opinions out there on this topic. Some people will say if you have the slightest impulse to move in a direction then you should go in that direction. Lets think about this. If you have the slightest impulse to cheat on your partner –do you? If you have the slightest impulse to eat an entire chocolate cake – do you? Maybe impulse is not the only thing to consider.

The question I ask is “What do you want for your life?” Really want. I am not talking about what are you willing to wish for when you have a few idle moments. I’m talking about what you want so badly that you are willing to work your tail off to get it.

Because if you want that amazing life, if you want things to totally change, you will get it.

You will see the change but you need to see it through.

You do not need to be without fear, you do not need to have the money, or the time. You need to have the commitment to yourself and your life. You need to know that you will stick with it. Because if you make this kind of commitment, NOTHING can stop you.

If there is something in your life that you want badly enough that you are willing to make this kind of commitment then yes,no matter what the circumstances, the time is now.