Have you ever noticed how stressed most people seem to be on a regular basis? People are tired, burnt out, and mentality fried. This is something that is completely avoidable. I believe a large reason why this occurs is people possess a “have to” mentality. They really don’t want to be doing something be feel obligated or burdened. They “have to” do it. This week we’re going to discuss why life would be a lot more enjoyable if we all possessed a “get to” mentality.
First, lets talk about having kids. Too often it seems as if parents “have to” do something with their kids. We have a pretty cool neighborhood pool for kids, it has water slide, lazy river, swings, fountains, and lap pool. I take my three-year old son up there quite regularly and we have a blast playing in the pool. What’s sad is that I notice too many parents at the pool who possess the “have to” mentality. They have to take their kids there. These are the parents who don’t pay attention to their kids as they sit and gossip with other parents, sunbathe, or play on phones. My mentality is that I “get to” take my son to the pool and play. Right now it’s cool for him to spend every minute playing in the water with dad, especially repeatedly dunking me under water! I cherish those moments. I “get to” have them.
It’s important as parents that we maintain this “get to” perspective. My wife and I were talking about this the other day about our two-week old son. Right now we are in the middle of three-hour sleep shifts and feedings throughout the night. But it’s like the Darius Rucker song; It Won’t Be Like This For Long. Things change so quickly, time flies by, and the time will come too soon when our boys are all grown up and out of the house. It’s important to remind ourselves of this when our child wants to read the same book, watch the same movie, play with same toy over and over again. We are going to miss those precious moments when they’re a teenager and those things are not cool anymore. Whether it’s late night feedings, cuddling and tucking in at bedtime, we need to cherish those moments while having the “get to” mentality.
We can apply the same “get to” mentality with work. Too many people are unhappy with and dread going to their jobs. I’ve never really understood this; if you’re unhappy, do something about it. Change your job or career path. People should be more thankful for being physically and mentally able to work. There are many people who are not so fortunate throughout the world. They’d gladly trade positions. Many people struggle to pay bills and feed their families. If you’re able to do this comfortably you’re one of the lucky ones. When we adopt the “get to” mindset with work it will take us to new heights. Our energy, outlook, focus, and production will all improve. I love teaching and coaching. It’s not something that feels like a job. It’s not I “have to” go to work, it’s I “get to” go to work.
One of the guarantees that we all have in life is facing obstacles. At some point in our lives we all will face hardships. The difference between those who overcome them and those who don’t is all in how the obstacle is approached. If we use the “get to” mindset we can see an obstacle as an opportunity for self-improvement. A setback will be seen as an opportunity for a comeback. We will only see this hardship as a bump in the road and not the final destination. By using the “get to” approach we come out better, stronger, and more confident through overcoming the challenge.
The great thing about sports is that no matter the sport, this lesson can and should be taught at all levels. As coaches, we can make a positive impact on the world by teaching our athletes to attack everything with the “get to” mindset. Those who have it will be the most successful.
reblogged from Kyle Elmendorf‘s coaching blog.
I generally start my workshops and seminars by asking a fundamental question: What attitude did you bring into this meeting? Often, this brings puzzled looks. In truth, people generally don’t have a high level of attitude awareness. They’ll know if they are hungry or if their feet hurt, but they usually don’t have a good handle on their attitude. That is a mistake because attitude is everything. It governs the way you perceive the world and the way the world perceives you.
We all have a choice. We can choose an inner dialogue of self-encouragement and self-motivation, or we can choose one of self-defeat and self-pity. It’s a power we all have. Each of us encounters hard times, hurt feelings, heartache, and physical and emotional pain. The key is to realize it’s not what happens to you that matters; it’s how you choose to respond.
Your mind is a computer that can be programmed. You can choose whether the software installed is productive or unproductive. Your inner dialogue is the software that programs your attitude, which determines how you present yourself to the world around you. You have control over the programming. Whatever you put into it is reflected in what comes out.
Many of us have behavior patterns today that were programmed into our brains at a very tender age. The information that was recorded by our brains could have been completely inaccurate or cruel. The sad reality of life is that we will continue to hear negative information, but we don’t have to program it into our brains.
The loudest and most influential voice you hear is your own inner voice, your selfcritic. It can work for or against you, depending on the messages you allow. It can be optimistic or pessimistic. It can wear you down or cheer you on. You control the sender and the receiver, but only if you consciously take responsibility for and control over your inner conversation.
Habitual bad attitudes are often the product of past experiences and events. Common causes include low self-esteem, stress, fear, resentment, anger and an inability to handle change. It takes serious work to examine the roots of a harmful attitude, but the rewards of ridding ourselves of this heavy baggage can last a lifetime.
Here are 10 strategies from my attitude tool kit to improve your attitude:
Seek your personal and professional success by using the tools in this attitude tool kit. It is no secret that life seems to reward us most when we approach the world with a positive attitude.