Marie Kondō, the reigning queen of de-cluttering, says, “The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t.” The same can be said when we talk about getting in touch with the Core and our Personal Truth. Holding onto things you don’t need weighs down the body, the mind, and the spirit, creating hurdles between you and your goals. If we do not clean things out, whether they are our houses, our bodies, or our businesses, things start to fall apart. So, how can we know if it is time to clean house? Listen!
Listen to your emotions. Our emotions are keys to helping us know what needs to go. Sometimes, things we don’t need fall off in a natural, easy way, like the falling of a leaf. Other times, what we do not let go of becomes like a bad smell in the refrigerator – difficult to find and growing more and more unpleasant each day. The ability to stay tuned into your emotions is a powerful tool that can be used to keep all aspect of our lives clean. Becoming familiar with your emotions allows you to recognize what is an ego-driven response and what is a true, deeper sign from your body, and your core, to you. The following are some examples of emotions we might feel and what they might be telling us about the clutter in our lives.
Are you feeling frustrated when you come to work, does the idea of picking up the phone and talking to that “friend” make you grumble like an old mountain man with a hound dog and a shotgun? When things are healthy they are also happy. The key is to figure out whether you need to let go completely or just make some kind of change inside yourself so that you feel more in alignment with what you are doing.
Do you find yourself spacing out while reading that book or unable to complete an essential task? Perhaps you need to pay attention to what you are not doing. What I mean is that sometimes we have a difficult time focusing on something we know we need to do or, under other conditions, might even want to do because we are not attending to other parts of our lives. Have you had fun or spent alone time recently? Doing something you have not been fitting in might balance you out and increase your focus.
Ok, so, sleepy is really just bored –most of the time. It is time to freshen things up! What is the new way that you can engage whatever is boring you to tears? It could be an aspect of your work, it could be a new program that you started. Find out if there is a fresh way of connecting to what you are doing or let it go.
Are your cupboards a mess, do you have too much to do, are you over stimulated by your life? Feeling overwhelmed is the experience of “too much” or even chaos. You can even have too much of really good stuff. So what can you weed out of your life so that you feel less overwhelmed and more at peace on a daily basis?
Learning to listen to your emotions is a tool that you will be able to apply to every aspect of your personal and professional development. Read your emotions as signs of things it’s time to cut on your journey to your core, and you’ll travel a much smoother path. No one knows you better than yourself, so start tuning into the things you are telling yourself.
The Lower Self is one-third of your entire Self. It is also the repository for your anger, rage, despair, apathy, and other negative emotions. If you are dealing with irrational, explosive emotions that your rational mind knows are way out of context for the situation, you’re dealing with your Lower Self. When you’re blocked, or find yourself repeating unhelpful patterns, you’re probably also dealing with your Lower Self. It is the ugly stepchild of the psyche, and it will act the part if you shun it.
According to the Core Energetics Model, the self is divided into three parts: The Lower Self, the Mask, and the Higher Self (or, Core Self). Simply put, the Higher Self is the truth of who you are, the Mask is who you want to be perceived as, and the Lower Self is where you hold the pain you experience when the Higher Self and the Mask work against one another. Understanding the Lower Self will unlock valuable information and resources for you.
Exploring your Lower Self is like jumping into a deep swimming pool at night — risky, daunting, and maybe a little creepy. The goal is the contentment you’ll experience as you float on that dark surface, confident in your understanding of the relationship between your body and the water that surrounds it! But know that before you float, you’re going to have to swim, so make sure you know how, and bring a lifeguard.
Here are a few things to remember, as you take the plunge:
The Lower Self is messy. Rage and despair do not make for good dinner guests. Do not let the honesty of your experience be overshadowed by the havoc that confronting these feelings might cause you. The Lower Self is SO MUCH more honest and real than the Mask.
Dealing with the Lower Self is work to do in an environment of support; inside sessions or a program. These are difficult emotions. As always, acknowledge your own limitations and boundaries, and take care of yourself along the way. Equip yourself for the task at hand, and rely on the resources around you. The point is to transform the Lower Self, not to get lost in it.
Know that the chaos you might be feelings is temporary, but important. Acknowledge your emotions and their validity. Without being dismissive, recognize that they are just emotions. If you allow yourself to feel them and be curious about what they are telling you, they may pass even faster and have even more positive benefit.
Your Lower Self is worth getting to know. When you have the strength and courage to descend into the darkness, you will find the pathway to joy and the gift of your vitality.