Napoleon Hill suggested that when we have a failure or disappointment, there is always a seed of an equivalent benefit that will be revealed later on. I have found his advice to be true, and it has saved me a lot of grief in my life.
The genius of Hill’s theory is that we will be happier if we change our view at the time we are discouraged to focus on looking for the benefit rather than dwelling on the misery. It really works.
Do you have an example of where a disappointment had a seed of a wonderful benefit that was revealed to you later?
Want continued support so you can shift your focus, achieve more and feel more successful? Email us and Kate will be happy to meet with you so that together you can find the right program for where you are at today!
1. Get Moving: Exercise has been proven to elevate mood.
2. Talk to someone: When things go wrong, people tend to isolate. Telling someone about your difficulties provides you with connection which is ultimately healing.
However, do not dwell too long in the negative. Excessively repeating a negative story can actually prolong a bad mood and make it difficult to move forward.
3. Reframe the situation: There is usually something positive to be gleaned even from the worst of situation. Can you find the silver lining? Learning to reframe situations is a powerful coping strategy used by successful and confident people.
4. Plan your future steps: Things might not be good now but they do not need to stay that way. What are ways that you can build a better tomorrow? Imagine yourself doing these things. The imagination plays a powerful role in shaping our lives and our feelings about yourself.
5. Take an inventory of what IS working: Even if a lot has gone wrong chances are there are a few things that are still right. What are the things that are the things you can be grateful for? Write a list of everything you are grateful for each day. Read it again in the morning when you wake up.
6. Positive self-talk: When we continually repeat statements such as, “It will never work out.” or “I am such a failure.” These beliefs are the reality that we live with. Make a list of your negative beliefs and write a second list of positive –yet believable– beliefs. Try replacing your negative beliefs with your positive beliefs as you go about your day.
7. Give yourself specific times to worry: A cognitive-behavioral technique is to quarantine the time that you give to your negative mood. For example, for 30 minutes each day I will ruminate about what has gone wrong. After that, I will stop and focus on other things.
8. Throw a fit: Is it so bad that you can’t imagine trying to find the good in it all. Take a few moments to jump up and down, scream, or hit something. Of course keep yours and other peoples safety in mind when you are doing this. You might feel a bit silly at first but you will feel much better as a result of giving yourself this time.
9. Focus on something else: If you find yourself dwelling in the negative, start distracting yourself. While it is important to feel your feelings, being stuck in negativity is not good for you. Find something else to occupy your attention and give yourself a break.
10. Do something you are good at: Mastery provides us will feeling of confidence, competence, and well-being. When you have experienced a set back, doing something you feel good helps you feel better.