Posts Tagged “Tips for being happy”

How to Be Happy Again After Depression Even If You’re Still Sad

How to Be Happy Again After Depression Even If You’re Still Sad

Depression is a clinical term used to label a group of behaviors and internal experiences associated with a depressed mood. It is also a clinical diagnosis. Depression is different than being sad. Sadness is a normal part of life and, as long as you are not feeling it all the time, it is actually a healthy thing for you to feel. It is important to realize that learning how to be happy again after depression looks slightly different for everyone.

Sometimes, we battle our way through a bad bout of depression and come out on the other side, only to find ourselves still feeling sad. While this can be a frustrating and disappointing reality about life “after” depression, it is important to acknowledge that feeling sadness can be an indicator of positive progress. Depression often leaves us unable to feel anything at all, let alone sad. It may not be your first pick for your team, but sadness truly has its hidden virtues.

The truth is that “after depression” just isn’t a reality for many people. Depression is actually a lifelong challenge that we learn to live and work with, more and more effectively. So, it’s understandable that knowing how to be happy again after depression may seem far-fetched or unattainable to many. And if you’re depressed, you should not be ashamed about that experience or of asking for help. If you are in that “after-depression” space, it can take a bit to get back to regular habits.

Here are some tips to help you get back on track.

1. Give yourself time to be sad: If you are still feeling sad the most important thing you can do is give yourself space to feel that way. Be deliberate. Sit on the couch for an hour and let yourself be sad. Then, get up and get moving.

2. Start slow: Often times depression leads to inactivity which can push us out of the healthy habits that we might have at other points in our life. Don’t expect to jump straight back into all your activities. Give yourself lots of time to slowly bring things back. It is good to push yourself, but don’t push too hard.

3. Make it easy: Sometimes what was a small step for us when feeling better is a huge step after being depressed for awhile. The smaller and easier you can make your new activities, the more likely you are to succeed. Give yourself that chance.

4. Acknowledge your progress: It can be easy to be critical of your abilities and your progress, especially if you have an anxiety disorder that exacerbates this behavior. It is vital that you acknowledge each new and beneficial thing you add to your life. You just ran an emotional marathon and now you are showing up at the gym. This is no small thing.

5. Choose the lesser of two evils: Our perspective gets skewed when we are depressed. We lose sight of what is good for us. When you are recovering from depression, you might feel as though you are choosing between something that is not so good and something that is worse. Try and choose the easier or slightly better option.

6. Take a day off: Yes you want to get back on track, but if you give yourself a moment to breathe, it may help you get where you want to go faster in the end.

7. Stick with it: You did not get to where you are in one day. You won’t get to where you want to be in one day either. Keep making efforts and you will see results, even if it takes time. You’ve got this.

Mental illness isn’t something you can just will to go away, but there are treatments that can help you deal with your depression.

If you’re still feeling sad after your depression, I hope these actionable tips help you. Life is a continuous journey and it usually isn’t a smooth one, especially if you’re learning how to be happy again after depression. Whether you suffer from depression or not, the best thing you can do for yourself is build up these life skills and techniques so that you can put them into place when you’re able. My LifeWork Community program is a great way to help you build practices that will support your wellbeing. Click here to learn more.

23 Things People Who Love Their Lives Do DIfferently

I have worked with thousands of coaching clients over the years.  Together, they have given us incredible insight into what the average human being needs to do to go from “loathing” to “loving” their life.  And, of course, we’ve successfully helped the vast majority of them gradually get from point A to point B.

What most of these people never suspected is that they would have to learn how to do lots of little things differently.  Because the truth is, there are specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world that we all have to master before we can awaken to a simpler, happier, more fulfilling life – a life worth loving.  And that’s precisely what this post is all about.

No matter what part of life’s path you’re traveling on, the list below will always be applicable.  These are simple, positive habits that thousands of people who have learned to love their lives, now live by.  Here’s what they do differently…

  1. They flow with life, not against it. – When everything in life seems to be going wrong, mostly it’s meant to go wrong so that you may outgrow the things you need to outgrow.  Keep this in mind.  Life may wreck your plans when your plans are about to wreck you.  For everything you’ve lost, you’ve gained something else.  You don’t have to accept it; it’s just easier if you do.  When you try to control too much, you enjoy too little.  Sometimes you simply need to take a deep breath and appreciate what is.
  2. They let go of self-defeating thoughts. – Breath by breath, let go of fear, expectation, anger, regret and frustration.  Let go of the need for approval too.  You don’t need any of it.  The world is as we are inside.  What we think, we see, and we ultimately become.  So choose your thoughts wisely.  Think how you want to live.
  3. They prove themselves to themselves, not others. – If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone else, you’ve already forgotten your value.  Don’t do this to yourself.
  4. They believe in the possibilities ahead. – You are a victim of the beliefs you live by.  And a belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses, it is an idea that possesses the mind.  So believe in yourself.  Believe in your capacity to succeed.  Believe that there are many roads to what’s right.  Believe in your intuition, especially when you have to choose between two good paths.  Believe that the answers are out there waiting.  Believe that life will surprise you again and again.  Believe that the journey is the destination.  Believe that it’s all worth your while.
  5. They find the positive in every situation. – The most underrated trait of all successful people I’ve ever met: Positivity.  Your attitude directly determines how well you live your life.
  6. They appreciate what they have. – Every now and then it’s good to pause in your pursuit of happiness, look around, and simply be happy for what you already have in your life. 
  7. They nurture their own inner peace. – In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.  Take a few deep breaths, a relaxing walk, or a moment to meditate.  When you find peace within, you who can live at peace in any situation.
  8. They find the courage to be real. – It takes courage to grow up, grow wiser, and turn out to be who you really are.  Find the courage to own your story.  To speak your truth.  To ask for what you need.  To set boundaries.  And to reach out for love and support when you need it.
  9. They maintain high personal standards based on strong values. – Goals are important but they are temporary.  Values on the other hand are forever.  Raise your standards by taking a values-driven, not just a goal-focused, approach to life.
  10. They walk the talk and always set a great example. – Be the change you want to see. Give what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, and mirror what you admire.
  11. They help themselves by helping others. – We all die.  The goal isn’t to live forever; the goal is to create something that will… an idea or gesture that helps others live better.  Strong people stand up for themselves; stronger people stand up for others too.  Remember this next time you feel like flexing your muscles.
  12. They use self-reflection as a tool to keep things in perspective. – Never forget where you’ve been, lose sight of where you’re going, or take for granted the people who travel the journey with you.
  13. They make their important relationships a daily priority. – An incredible thing happens when you pay close attention.  It’s by participating more in your relationships that you breathe life into them. 
  14. They accept that not all relationships are meant to last. – This is a harsh truth.  And what we do with our pain is nearly everything.  To punish people for not loving us is a heartbreaking, broken sort of justice.  It just doesn’t work out for anyone.  So let the wrong ones go, willingly.  Ultimately, you will meet two kinds of people in life: those who build you up and those who tear you down.  In the end, though, you will thank them both.  Because the wrong relationships eventually lead to the right ones.
  15. They leave the past behind. – Don’t let the past steal your present.  Your past has not defined, deterred, or defeated you.  It has only strengthened who you are today.  Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.
  16. They make every day count. – What you do daily matters more than what you do every once in awhile.  Your life will not improve unless you start making daily improvements.  It’s not about being the smartest, it’s about making the smartest decision. It’s not about being right, it’s about doing the right things.
  17. They do the work. – The near-term cost of discipline is always less than the long-term cost of lack of discipline.  At some point you have to stop wishing for it and start working for it.
  18. They focus on effectiveness, not busyness. – The great paradox of our time is that many of us are busy and bored at the same time.  Busyness and effectiveness are two different things. 
  19. They get uncomfortable. – You can’t learn, grow and succeed until you get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  The best wins in life often come only after you dare to lose.
  20. They break-up their routines to seek new insight. – You will often see what is wrong when you are doing it right.  But you will rarely see what is right when you are comfortably in the routine of doing it wrong.  If you want a new tomorrow, then make new choices today.  Mix it up!  Sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need.
  21. They take action in spite of their fears. – Dreading is often far worse than just doing the thing.  Dread rehearses a scenario over and over without progress and success ever showing up.  So just do it already!  Stand strong.  Do what you fear, and fear disappears.  Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions speak louder than your words.
  22. They use change as an opportunity to grow. – Life is change, but growth is optional.  Choose wisely.  To be a success in life you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to remain perfectly capable of improving.  Let your mistakes, and life’s twists and turns, strengthen you.  Growth and change may be painful sometimes, but nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.
  23. They always give themselves another chance. – Sometimes the bad things that happen in your life put you on a direct path to the best possible things that could ever happen to you.  You just have to give yourself another chance to get there.

Afterthoughts
Do the best you can to smile.   Be so busy loving your life and the people in it that you have no time left for hate, regret or unnecessary stress.  In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience.  It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. 

Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds – struggles and all.  You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.

reblogged from Marc and Angel Hack Life.

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