Posts Tagged “peace”

A True Place of Peace Amongst the Chaos

A True Place of Peace Amongst the Chaos

There are events in which we lose something we never thought we’d lose: our perspective, our health, a loved one. These life-altering events can leave us reeling. In these moments it can seem that the world is an unfair place and we are at its mercy. Or perhaps we fail to judge the fairness of our situation and simply grieve that it’s happening.

In these moments we often grasp at what’s familiar. We try to negotiate a way to have and to hold what we previously held so dear. We fight, we deny, and we pretend that things have not changed. Yet, we can not un-know what we know – things are no longer the same.

These are the least peaceful times in our lives. This is when what we want to be and what is are at odds.

In his very powerful essay, David Whyte describes anger as our response to seeing something we held dear destroyed. This can be an idea, a relationship, or a state of being. Our anger states: “I have loved this and I’m not ready to let it go. I’m not ready to accept its fate. I’m not willing to accept my fate.”

When we approach the gravesite of what we once held dear, we are fraught with anguish. We want justice. We want to hold someone accountable. While others might be involved, they will never hold enough responsibility for the situation to appease our need for retribution.

We can keep fighting or we can be humbled by our humanity, by our intrinsic vulnerability.

We can find within ourselves a bravery that allows us to accept the ebb and flow of life. This kind of bravery sources its sense of peace from the practice of acceptance and not protection.

Protection is a strong and peculiar habit. We believe that we protect ourselves by cloaking our vulnerability and disappointment with anger, sadness, or avoidance. We convince ourselves that donning an outer armor is the only way that we can survive the inevitable heartache that comes with loss. But a shield expects an onslaught. Our protective gestures create the environment for a continual fight.

Conversely, acceptance is the fabric of a durable, permeable peace. It permits us to open to life, to allow for its expansion and contraction. It enfranchises us to give a rightful place to our anger and need to hold only as long as serves us. Most important, acceptance allows us to be remade again and again in the fire of what we believe we cannot bear. And this is where we find our peace.

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Happiness is the True Meaning of Life

Happiness is the True Meaning of Life

In my 20’s, I learned that if I worked hard I could change my circumstances. In my 30’s, I learned that if I let myself love then, no matter the outcome, whatever I did would be worth it. Now in my 40’s, I can see that if I don’t have peace on the inside then it doesn’t matter how much love or money I have in my life.

The truth is, lasting happiness comes from one thing – and that’s peace.

I was in Thailand a few years ago to meet with a Russian Shaman. True story. She told me that I was meant to work with people around happiness – to really help them to be happy with their life.

At this moment, I see how true her statement really is.

I used to think that happiness was overrated. Now, I think it’s underrated. Nothing matters more in our lives than how we feel on the inside.

The True Meaning of Life

I believe the secrets of the universe will stay secret. However, I don’t think this prevents us from creating lives full of meaning and joy. There are few things in life that bring us true happiness. And they’re not what you think they are.

So what are these things? Let’s start at the top:

Peace in Your Heart

    I have to say it – even at the risk of sounding like every other self-help guru: peace on the inside is where it’s at.
    Life will always have its ups and downs. And yes, you can count on the universe to send something unexpected your way. We can either let ourselves feel tossed around by life’s inevitable twists and turns. Or we can create a kind of internal stability that won’t flinch when life throws us a curve-ball. This stability comes from a sense of inner-peace. When this is in place, we know in a deep way that we’re always going to be okay regardless of what’s happening around us.
    So, stop for a moment and ask yourself: what would your life be like if you spent as much time creating peace in your heart as you do working at your job or on your business? What would happen if you made sure to take some “you-time” everyday to bring a little more peace into your heart? Why not create a little experiment to test out your hypothesis?

Time with Those that Matter

    Grandparents around the world, join me for an AMEN! They know that time teaches us about what matters most and who matters most in your life. But why wait until you’re older to benefit from this essential life lesson? Why not build your life around the people you really care about right now?
    If this rings true to you, then try this out: once a week for the next month, make a plan to spend some time with someone you really love. Do something that you both enjoy. Those good feelings and good times will build good memories and will help to grow your sense of peace.

Doing Something you Love and That You are Good At

    It doesn’t matter if you get paid for it or not. When we do something we love and we’re good at, we feel great. And this is exactly what many people refer to as “life purpose.” This is why life purpose has more to do with something we create than something we find.
    When we start doing things we love and look for ways to offer them to the world, our skill and satisfaction naturally multiplies.

Dare to Dream

    There’s a reason that the idea of the “bucket list” became so popular so fast. People yearn for permission to do things that excite them, bring them joy, and make their life meaningful. We feel happy when we let ourselves dream and when we meet even a few of our dreams.
    So, ask yourself: what do I dream of doing? Big or small. It doesn’t matter. Pick one of your dreams and begin to do things that in time will make it a reality.

Go Deep

    Life is too short to stay on the surface. So, to tap into a sense of lasting inner-peace, you’ll need to find out what is really going on with you and those around you. Be willing to ask challenging questions. Take the risk to create intimacy. Our internal landscape has as much room to explore as our external one.